My bedroom.

Olivia Thomas
Aug 23, 2017 · 3 min read

I’ve slept in this bed hundreds, or maybe even thousands of times. It’s a place that I can come lay down at the end of the day and just feel relieved. Relieved that it’s the end of the day and I can finally relax. I can just lay here by myself, with nobody to bother me, and decompress. It’s also the bed where I’ve spent all night crying. Not knowing what to do, who I can talk to or what I should feel. Well what I felt this time was hurt. Betrayal. Ignored. Forgotten. Left in the dust. Not important anymore. How could one person’s actions have this much of an effect on me. Someone so close to me who I should always be able to trust and feel comfortable around. Now it’s just like we’re strangers. We see each other every week or so. Awkwardness fills the air when I’m around. Silence is the only thing I can hear. And all I can think about is, is this the right time to bring it up? How will he react? Should I just ignore this feeling and act like everythings okay? My mom tells me to say something, but I don’t know. My parents got divorced in 2008 and ever since then my sister and I have been switching back and forth between my mom and dad’s house. My mom got remarried a few years after but my dad had always been single, or not in too serious of relationships. Within the past year he met and fell in love with a with a woman and I am so happy for him because he deserves to be happy. He works so hard to take care of his parents while having a full time job and I’m very proud of him for that. His girlfriend is really nice and her kids are great. But as time has gone on, my dad has gradually started to disconnect with my sister and I and is just not as much a part of our lives as he use to be. It makes me really sad because I love him so much. I know he’s not doing this intentionally but it does hurt me. I don’t get those random text messages on Fridays saying “TGIF! Hope you have a great day!” I feel like I have been replaced and it does not feel good. My bed I where I spent last Saturday night crying about it. He had sent me a text inviting me to an event with his girlfriend and her family and my eyes just filled with tears. One blink was all it took and there was a waterfall coasting down the sides of my cheeks. I felt like I wasn’t part of his family anymore. Was it right for me to be feeling this way? Was I being selfish? I didn’t know what to do. A week later I went to my dad’s house and to my surprise when I got there, he wasn’t there. I sat in my bed waiting for when he was going to come home. I heard the front door open and I was instantly upset. Should I say something? He comes in my room and says hi and I decide to give him a little bit of a cold shoulder. “Were you at work?” I ask. “No I was out to did with Katie and her son and his new girlfriend. I thought you worked till 6:30 so I figured I would be home before you but I guess not.” he replied. All of a sudden the streams came down my face again. After about an hour of talking to him and telling him how I felt, everything was back to normal. I almost started to feel bad for having been mad at him without telling him the problem right away. Of course he too felt really bad, he had no idea and never wanted me to feel like that. But everything got settled and we were back to normal.

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