Yes, You’re Speaking, but, Just Speaking

In mos of case, you only open your mouth and make a sound

I’ve been working as a Business Development Manager for quite a while. Being impressed as I unusually faced different skins in different industry. Also, I’ve seen the way my colleague talk to their clients. The problem is, humm, I know it’d hurt or cynical to some sense. However, the truth is that THEY ARE NOT COMMUNICATING WITH OTHERS, BUT MONOLOGUE.

Compared to how to start a conversation, I think the more difficult part is how to shut your mouth up and wait for the response. That’s the core or essence of communication, instead of monologue. So, today, I’m going to share with you my experience of how to end up your conversation. If your ending is weak, it will undermine all the work that has gone before. But if the ending is so powerful that leaves the listeners with a strong lasting impression, trust me, you guys won’t have a good mood to continue the talk.

I recently read a great article on http://www.getnewsmart.com/ which is a great platform, not just for English learning. I’m going to renew the point Mr. Jeremy Day’s opinion: https://www.getnewsmart.com/articles/113185-business-language-skills-the-script-for-ending-your-presentation, the SCRIPT model for communication which is so helpful and inspiring. I only take SCRI for my use, that is enough for a P2P talk.

The first thing he tells is SIGNAL

“Do you know what I mean”, dude, that sucks

Assuming that you’re sitting with your client or your friends, you’ve broke the ice and start a conversation. It can be a story, a daily event happened to you or your surroundings and etc. There must be a point that you need to listen to your audience’s response. When you finish the main part of your talk, how will you pause? The situation is unlike what you are doing a presentation in public, allowing you to directly say: “OK, so we’re coming toward the end now,” or “And that’s all I wanted to say about that last point.”

Trust me, nobody is gonna to do that in a conversation. So, what is the better way? My suggestion is that you’d better not give a SIGNAL by the end of your conversation, instead, you should lead your listener to ask their questions while telling the story. So, you’d better consistently ask this: “So, we’re coming to XX and see XX(people), have you ever got any familiar experience?” or “So, when we see Mr. Robinson, guess what, he is also xxx. That’s amazing, don’t you think so?”

You don’t need to eventually give a SIGNAL, give it EVERYWHERE.

The Second thing he tells is CONCLUDE

“Do you realize what it has just happened…”

Every communication needs one or two big takeaway messages, that means you want your listener to remember from the talk. After all your stories, facts, and figures, now’s the time to explain what it all means. It happens when you are going to emphasize the importance of your product, your service and etc. Although you might have mentioned it at the beginning of your talk, your conclusion is your last chance to make your takeaway message crystal clear.

So, what are going to do? By saying the term “In conclusion” or “To sum up” in the beginning of your talk, oh, dude, trust me, it really sucks, because it’s not a writing test for your TOEFL exam. So, the better one is:

“So where is this all leading?”

“What does this all mean?”

or even “What am I trying to put here?”

and all that is fine. Also you can say this :

“Have you now got any idea what I’m doing for you…”

“That’s a historical moment. If you are to follow my lead, then you will have…”

Remember. It’s easy to say such leading words, phrases, sentences or even small paragraphs. However, the difficult part is how to elaborate your detailed plan, that is something big.

The Third thing he tells is REMIND

Unusually, it happens when you continue to your story. You need to remind listeners of the core points from the main body of what you say, and show how they all support your big conclusions. It is a normal process for presentation, but that is also common in P2P talk. It helps listeners understand what you say is serious and what you say is simple a joke.

So, what’s in you mind now? I remember there is a theory mentioned in Thinking, fast and slow, that tells how our brain works, the division of SYSTEM 1 and SYSTEM 2. We need to make most use of unconscious rule that SYSTEM 1 runs. So, some words such as “we” is to create the impression that listeners share your words:

“As we learned at the beginning of the presentation …”

“Then we looked at …”

“Then we come to..”

“We also learnt/mentioned/analyzed earlier that …”

“You might remember we talked about…”

“We…do you remember?”

Using your body language, the gesture while you are doing the reminder work. Also, appropriate nodding is another way to echo the comment or thing you might be agreed on each other.

The Forth thing he tells is IMPLEMENT

Ideas and arguments are important, but they become a lot more powerful when you implement them. When you put them into practice in a real-life situation. So the ending is the perfect time to tell your best story: something that shows how your conclusions apply to real life.

According to my experience, one of the most powerful techniques is back to a story that you told. For example, let’s say you told a story in your introduction about a situation where some things went wrong. Then, in the main body of your talk you explained what you learned from that bad experience. In your ending, you could tell the story of what you did next time you were in the same situation, after learning all those lessons.

If you get this right, it will create a strong sense of closure — of completing something, of reaching the end as well as some very powerful, positive emotions.

That’s all you need to take it in mind as you start a conversation with others, no matter who he or she really is.


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