One sided sight.
Before I met you, I was a lost soul, wandering on this desolated Earth. I wasn't waiting for anything in particular. Death ? Oh, I was dead already.
No, not inside, really dead.
At first, it was entertaining to go through walls, to be unseen, to scare people with my mere presence. But I got used to that.
It is weird to live without a body, it took me quite some time to get used to that. My flesh wasn't keeping me warm anymore, there was no heart pounding in my chest, my hair was as light as feathers...
I was not haunting anybody, I’m not that kind of person. I’ve always been bitter that you all get to live and I don’t, but eventually I learnt to deal with the bitterness.
It’s the emptiness that was haunting me instead. I was left on this soil with no duty, no goals... You should have felt that, how hard it was to deal with exactly nothing.
Being invisible helped the stalker that I am. I followed people, overheard conversations. The problem is, all that was just a treat to my boredom, nothing more. I felt as if I was now too far from the human race.
And then, eventually, I met you.
You were just walking, under the pouring rain and, in that very moment, I wished I could make the rain stop so you wouldn't get wet, wouldn't get sick.
You're damn right I followed you. I followed you a lot actually. I could have sworn that I felt alive. You made me feel as if blood was running again through my veins.
I couldn't talk, I couldn't appear in front of you, it would have scared the life out of you...But it would have been funny though. I made some entries in your life, sometimes you've felt it, sometimes it went unnoticed.
It was either due to my clumsiness, or my childish pulsions.
I’m the one who broke that vase. Yeah, the one that belonged to your grandmother...
I’ve also been playing a little with the lights of your appartment, ones you forgot that you turned off, or on. I couldn’t help it, your confused face is hilarious.
I admit adding some sugar to your morning coffee or salt to your dishes. Often it was the right doses, sometimes a little more...
I did way more than that, actually.
I closed your windows at night, afraid you would catch a cold. I kept your coffee hot when you forgot to drink it right away. I hugged you when you felt cold, when you felt lonely. I kissed your wet cheeks when, for some reasons, tears would flow on them. I held the wheel when the asshole that you are was driving drunk.
Oh, and don't you remember when steam would appear on your glasses ? It was just me, a bit too close...
I was happy, feeling like your guardian angel. At least I had some purpose. I knew there was no way you would ever love me back, but I was okay with that. As long as you were happy, and I took part in making that happiness, I was fulfilled.
But, God, even after Death, there's no Happy Ever After.
You had to fall in love yourself.
And she had to fall even more.
You guys made me sick. Seriously, how did a love as strong as that get out of fairy tales ?
I felt useless again, when she took care of you as if you were the apple of her eyes. Maybe you were. She looked at you with deep admiration, even more than I did. I hated that. Sometimes, I felt as if she was looking for me, knowing that I was hiding somewhere, just so she could tease me. I hated that too.
Now you were even happier, and I had nothing, nothing to do with it.
But I’m just a ghost. No wall could hold me, yet here I was, stuck with you. You made my unbeating heart quiver for you. My soul was free as the winds, yet you held me in the palm of your hand.
She was too beautiful for both of our worlds, and I was way too jealous.
There was nothing I could do.
There was nothing I could do to save her.
Trust me, it's her fault. She was driving way too fast. It was too dark for her to see that dog before it was too late. She lost control over the wheel, and lost her life in the process. You lost your love. I lost everything. Yes, in that bloody game, nobody wins.
I could have scared the dog out of the road, I could have made her brake earlier. I don’t know, something... But, I was driven with some kind of egoistic love, one I wouldn’t wish for you, sweetheart. I went from angel to devil faster than it took her to breathe her last breath.
Now, I stopped following you. I hope I'll never meet your sorrowful eyes again. And I hope I'll never get to meet her in that sick world of mine.
I am a lost soul, wandering on that desolated Earth. And I'm okay with that.