The Enneagram & Us: Part 1

By Michael

With 7 adults living in the house, we have a wide spectrum of personalities to work with. If not handled properly, these diverse personalities could (and sometimes do) lead to some tense conversations and uncomfortable moments. We’ve all come to accept that we’re not all suddenly going to develop identical personalities, so a big part of adapting to communal living has been learning to understand and appreciate each other more for our individual strengths and weaknesses. One of the tools we have found most helpful in this process of adaptation and acceptance has been the Enneagram.

A couple of years ago the word “Enneagram” started popping up in my twitter feed and I became curious as to why all of these people I followed from afar were referencing this topic. As I poked around and dug a little deeper I found out that the Enneagram is a way of understanding ourselves and others and that helps us to live with greater appreciation and empathy for one another. At a quick glance one might think it is just like Myers-Briggs or some other personality typing system; but on further study I found it was so much more.

The first, and most accessible, book I’ve read on the topic is called The Road Back to You by Suzanne Stabile and Ian Morgan Cron. The description of that book also serves as a good introduction to what the Enneagram is.

“The Enneagram is an ancient personality type system with an uncanny accuracy in describing how human beings are wired, both positively and negatively. In The Road Back to You Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile forge a unique approach―a practical, comprehensive way of accessing Enneagram wisdom and exploring its connections with Christian spirituality for a deeper knowledge of ourselves, compassion for others, and love for God. Not only will you learn more about yourself, but you will also start to see the world through other people’s eyes, understanding how and why people think, feel, and act the way they do. Beginning with changes you can start making today, the wisdom of the Enneagram can help take you further along into who you really are―leading you into places of spiritual discovery you would never have found on your own, and paving the way to the wiser, more compassionate person you want to become.”

The Enneagram reveals that there are basically 9 different personality types that each of us can relate to more strongly. Each of us usually has a secondary personality type (a wing) that enhances and gives us more of a unique approach to life. We can also be affected by other personality traits when we are under stress or thriving.

Here’s a brief outline of the 9 personality types:

Type One (The Reformer) is principled, purposeful, self-controlled, and perfectionistic.

Type Two (The Helper) is generous, demonstrative, people-pleasing, and possessive.

Type Three (The Achiever) is adaptable, excelling, driven, and image-conscious.

Type Four (The Individualist) is expressive, dramatic, self-absorbed, and temperamental.

Type Five (The Investigator) is perceptive, innovative, secretive, and isolated.

Type Six (The Loyalist) is engaging, responsible, anxious, and suspicious.

Type Seven (The Enthusiast) is spontaneous, versatile, acquisitive, and scattered.

Type Eight (The Challenger) is self-confident, decisive, willful, and confrontational.

Type Nine (The Peacemaker) is receptive, reassuring, complacent, and resigned.

Now, to bring this closer to home, let me give you an overview of how the adults of our household stack up in this system.

• Bryan is a type 6
• Luc is a type 5
• Bethany is a type 8
• Eric is a type 3 with a 4 wing
• Sarah is a 1 with a 2 wing
• Hope is a 1 with a 9 wing
• I’m a 4 with a 3 wing.

This mix creates for some very interesting dynamics, to say the least. In a series of posts spread out over the coming weeks, I will give you a deeper look into how this plays out between us as individuals and in our group. Our hope is that as the Enneagram helps you learn more about us, you will also begin to learn a little bit more about yourself.

You may want to start your own journey of Enneagram discovery by checking out my favourite introduction to the Enneagram on The Liturgists Podcast, visiting the homepage of the Enneagram Institute or by picking up a copy of The Road Back to You. Enjoy!