According to research, there are three separate and distinct digital parenting styles.
According to Alexandra Samuel, a researcher who conducted a two-year study on digital parenting, these three styles are: limiting, enabling and mentoring.
To the average parent, this doesn’t mean much — but it should. Thing is, you fall into one of these three camps, and depending which camp that is, you could be doing things all wrong.
Are you a limiter, enabler or a mentor of your child’s digital experiences?
Enablers
Enablers allow their children to use devices freely. Usually there are a number of different devices (and device types) in these homes, and everyone probably has their own screen. In ‘enabling’ homes, kids are usually pretty tech-savvy and are responsible for setting their own rules around screen time. This approach is common among parents of teenagers, especially.
If you are a digital enabler, you have a very relaxed attitude towards device use in your home. As far as you’re concerned, time spent online is beneficial to your child’s growth and learning experiences, whether that’s through playing Minecraft, learning to code or simply playing around with apps and on the Internet. You think that trying to limit use will only cause drama and limit your child or teen’s learning experiences.
Limiters
Digital limiters are the exact opposite of enablers. Instead of giving free reins on tech use, limiters instead focus on limiting device and technology interactions as much as possible. Parents in this group are very fearful of the negative side-effects of device use, worrying that screens will shorten their children’s attention spans, stunt social development and cause physical, mental and psychological issues. Limiters are most likely to be parents of children around the preschool age.
If you’re a digital limiter, you probably are very concerned about the negative side effects of device use. You’ve heard that devices prevent quality sleep, cause cognitive issues and can lead to vision problems. You grew up without devices, and turned out just fine, so why can’t your children? The more time spent outside, reading, or exploring hobbies away from tech, the better.
Mentors
Digital mentors fall in a sweet spot between digital limiters and digital enablers, understanding that children’s technology habits need to be balanced and guided. Mentors know that devices are here to stay, and shunning their use will do no good. Most parents of elementary school aged children adopt a mentor approach.
If you are a digital mentor, you are keen on being involved in your child’s device use habits. You likely have screen time rules in place, especially at bedtime and during family meals. Conversations about online safety happen on a pretty regular basis, and you make an effort to connect with your child through technology, whether that’s by playing games together or using text or messaging apps to chat and connect with your kids. Parents who use OurPact are definitely ‘mentors’.
Percentage of Parents Who Provide Technology Guidance At Least Once A Week
Which approach is best, and why?
According to Samuel, limiting and enabling digital parenting approaches are not beneficial for children.
An enabling approach, while easy, does not help kids and teens develop healthy device habits. Taking a ‘hands-off’ approach with technology prevents kids and teens from learning the etiquette, rules and boundaries around device use early on.
A limiting approach is, simply put, not realistic. Technology is a part of our society, and undeniably a part of your child’s future. It forms the basis of how we communicate and learn. Ironically, despite the fact that parents in this group are most concerned about the negative risks associated with technology, children of limiters are the most likely to participate in inappropriate online activities; they are more likely than children of enablers and mentors to watch porn, post inappropriate content online and even attempt to impersonate peers online.
Inappropriate Online Activity, According to Digital Parenting Style
Mentors are best at helping their children develop healthy device habits. This approach allows children the freedom to explore and learn online, while still developing a healthy and balanced digital appetite. Embracing children’s online lives by opening lines of communication and setting healthy boundaries is the approach most likely to raise ‘digitally responsible’ children.
Parents who use OurPact to guide children’s device use habits almost certainly fall into the digital mentor category — especially those who engage in ongoing conversations about online safety or signed the OurPact Digital Contract. OurPact parents understand that screens are great, but need to be balanced with other ‘unplugged’ activities.
What type of digital parent are you? Share in the comments below!
Haven’t joined the OurPact community yet? Download OurPact for FREE today to begin managing your children’s screen time habits remotely and at-a-touch.
This article was written by Paige Mayer.
