PASS THE POPCORN & THE XANAX
The Movie theatre experience isn’t as nearly exciting as it used to be. I remember when I was a kid, my father would have me wear an over-sized coat just so he could stash snacks in my over-sized pockets — he was too cheap to pay for snacks at the theatre (and looking back on it) now I understand why! It was all worth the effort just to see my favorite movie projected on the jumbo screen. Years ago, a day at the movie theatre felt welcoming with less distractions, and “I can swear people were more considerate.” Since we’re fresh off a global pandemic and THAT war between Russia and Ukraine — what better time than now to spout off about an ‘happy outing’ which use hold such fond memories, now triggers an array of anxieties.
So, What’s the Problem?
What exactly is the problem? What could I possibly have to complain about with movie theaters? Not the rising ticket prices and obscene cost for snacks. Movie theaters have awakened an irrational anxiety within me that I never had two decades ago. For those who are old enough to remember, take a mental stroll down memory lane to the movie theatres of the late 1990’s. It was a simpler time. Get your ticket, get your popcorn and soda, take your seat, and watch your movie in silence. I look back so fondly on those days. Fast forward to 2023 and it’s a different story. It’s sensory overload. Forks and knives clattering on plates, the glow of a cell phone that should’ve been turned off before entering the theatre, other moviegoers whispering loudly, and in the great state of Florida the potential for being shot dead and your killer going free, but I digress! The mere thought of going to a movie theatre now makes me anxious. Nowadays, I’ll only visit the theatre (about once a year) to see a good horror or sci-fi film in Imax.
Oh, the Rudeness!
Dealing with people’s utter disrespect, rudeness and inconsideration is one thing when you’re standing in line at the grocery store, taking the bus ride home, or spending the entire day at the “God forsaken” DMV. But, sitting in an enclosed space for 2 hours or any duration of a movie in a room filled with people who possess different personalities and character traits unlike your own (is like the psychological equivalent of having your teeth pulled without Novocain). People are so unbearable to a fault, that it makes you want to hide in the safety of your home and become an agoraphobic. Talking loudly on their phone, sharing unwanted opinions about the actors in the film, bumping into you without saying “Excuse me”, or yelling across the theatre to signal their friends about moving to a different seat. Of course, these behaviors are not portrayed by everyone…but it sure as hell feels like the bad always outweigh the good! I can honestly do without the panic of surveying every person that enters the theatre as a potential nuisance to my movie viewing experience. Having my own private IMAX theatre would be a dream come true. I can watch movies anxiety-free and in silence. Until then, “I’ll share my popcorn with you, but please pass me the Xanax!”
