Three Exercises Inspired By the Stoics to Appreciate Your Life
- This is the Headline Rule.
If you’re not fully comfortable with the prospect of seeing your name in print in tomorrow’s newspaper—above the fold, in bold print, staring right back at you, with a none-too-flattering photo next to it, sitting on newsstands and in front of front doors all over your city—referring to whatever action you’re about to take or whatever words you’re about to say, don’t do it.
If you wouldn’t want to see something like this:
“THIS CUSTOMER ALWAYS WRONG— [YOUR NAME] SCREAMED AT POORLY PAID WAITER AT RESTAURANT LAST NIGHT UNTIL MANAGER ASKED HIM TO LEAVE,”
or
“DIGNITY LOST—[YOUR NAME], A VISITING AMERICAN TOURIST, FOUND BY LOCAL POLICE PASSED OUT DRUNK AND NAKED IN FILTHY ALLEY WITH UGLY MISSPELLED TATTOO IN LANGUAGE SHE DOESN’T SPEAK,”
or
“BETTING THE FARM—[YOUR NAME] RECENTLY LOST EVERYTHING BY INVESTING ALL HIS RETIREMENT SAVINGS IN HOT NEW COMPANY HE SPENT EXACTLY 12 MINUTES RESEARCHING,”
then think first.
These are somewhat hyperbolic, but not entirely. These kinds of actions are taken by overly excited or unthinking people all the time.
You can bet, for example, that people who’ve taken revealing photos of themselves and shared them online did not think about the Headline Rule.
Think about how you’d view yourself as well as how those whose opinions matter to you would view your actions or words (more or less setting aside anyone else), and consider these factors beforehand. A little reflection saves a lot of trouble and might help you avoid misusing your time being angry.
While thinking along these lines, consider Epictetus’ “dichotomy of control” concept: there are things you can control, things you have some amount of control over, and some things you have absolutely no control over. When you can avoid creating trouble for yourself, do it (or, rather, don’t).
As a fallible human being, you will make mistakes. Sometimes these are your fault, often they are not. Most things in the world are beyond your control. But, given a choice, don’t pile on to the trials you’ll inevitably face.
2. This is the Gratitude Rule.
Around the world, for one reason or other, not all of them tragic, millions of people died today. Whether it was old age, disease, violent in nature, due to an accident, or something else, many people ceased to live on this day.
What do you imagine they would give for the ability to take the idea of tomorrow morning for granted, and tomorrow morning itself, the way most people do? Their money, their property or possessions, anything else they have in their power to give—what do you think someone on the verge of death would trade for one more month or even a day of continued life?
To paraphrase Marcus Aurelius, anywhere life can be lived, it can be lived well. Make the assumption that all those who’re leaving this life are just as worthy, intelligent, and capable as you’d consider yourself to be.
At night, take a moment to consider all the lives that ceased to be on this day. Think about how grateful most of them would feel if somehow they could live just a bit longer—and that gratitude which they (hopefully) feel for the time they had and the decisions they made.
Now try to feel some sense of gratitude yourself—you’re alive, presumably in possession of all your faculties, able to take tomorrow morning for granted—as you unwind and prepare to sleep.
3. This is the Negative Visualization Rule.
(This particular exercise is taken directly from A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy by William B. Irvine, a book I would recommend to anyone.)
Spend some time periodically imagining that you’ve lost the things you value most.
This will help you treasure the time with the person you might lose or the use of that possession or object that brings you satisfaction. It will help you enjoy your favorite activities more, imagining that this might be the last time you will get a chance to pursue them.
For the Stoics, this habit of thinking in negative terms had the result of transforming them into full-blown optimists. Rather than weigh them down with negativity, they became quite joyful and much more prone to happy living.
To quote from Irvine’s book, “ negative visualization, in other words, teaches us to embrace whatever life we happen to be living and to extract every bit of delight we can from it…to enjoy what we have without clinging to it.”
Remember these three simple exercises and see what effect they can have. See if you become more optimistic, more internally focused and less concerned with matters petty or trivial.
