He was a ‘working man,’ whereas I am a typing man

The theft of a landscaping boulder can serve as both a notice of cowardice and an opportunity for peace through weakness.

The other day at about 6 in the evening I was returning home from a walk when I noticed a couple on the front sidewalk near the border of my and my neighbor’s yard. Unlocking my front door, I glanced over and thought I saw the man struggling to hold something heavy. Leaning into him, his girlfriend (if that’s what she was) giggled at his clowning. They were both swaying perilously, as though they’d just disembarked from a cruise ship and hadn’t gotten their legs under them yet. They had with them one of those oversized grocery tote bags, and whatever it was he held, he placed into the bag.

My house is just a few blocks from downtown Robbinsdale, MN, a quaint little area with several bars and restaurants that make for some good day drinking, if that’s your thing. And I think that was their thing, because, now carrying what appeared to be far too heavy of a tote bag, they walked away as the wind and the waves lashed their wayward ship and sent them to one side of the walk and then the other.

After unlocking my door, it registered that they appeared to have had a large stone, and if they did, it may have been my…