Things I’ve Learned About Love.

a lesson for the 20-somethings.

2015 © photography by paolo raeli

when i think about love — i think autumn. i think leaves falling, coffee mugs, and colors bred in vein for a metaphor. there’s nothing poetic about falling in love suspended in gravity with no floors. i have scars to prove the scary part about falling, is not knowing whether or not you’ll survive heaven upside down —

but we climb anyway.

there is no metric for love. no force outside of energy demanding thought or proof, yet people are stuck chewing bones where magic defies reason. you don’t always get to trace a miracle without blood. it takes faith to keep your heart on a loop. to be constant is to be present. helium. (here i am.)

there is no formula to weed out the ungodly. learn the difference between what you tolerate and what you make room for. pay attention to the orbit when they speak about your heart, they will show you who they are. people are not charts–– give space for revelation. love is only scary because we’ve made it to be. how misled to have thought submission is weakness. even angels imitate wind, how dare you think your heart is different?

when i think about love, i think pulse. there’s nothing more mythical than your heart sparring darkness to see you live everyday — you deserve love in all intensity. someone asked me if i believed in soulmates. my first instinct was an umbilical cord. i thought about my mother; the only woman whose never left. i thought middle school girlfriends. puberty barely scratching confidence. my stomach in knots, i thought fear. untainted. i didn’t know much about love. i knew nothing about organs. vaginas. heartbreak, orgasms. sixth grade quiet, i knew silence. you ask do i believe in soulmates. i believe in everything i’ve touched. i believe in multiples, but not all of it is romantic. when i think about love, i think about people who romanticize the idea until it’s not magic anymore.

2016 © artwork by nicole renee

we attach happiness to love but it’s a fleeting emotion — love is much bigger than that. i don’t believe in ownership. love to me, is sacred. i can never ask anyone to love me — that is a height only time gives — and i’m not that easy to love. when i think about love, i think a pendulum. trying to get a message across. we can’t decode what we have yet to accept.

one day, when you fall. i pray in vein and in arm. you never chase opium in confusion for a home.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —— thank you for reading. if this resonated at all, click the green heart below so other people on medium can see it. 💚