Fixing Computers For Free Sucks!

Here’s one of the common deathbed regrets: I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. A wise one, I’ll save it for dying.

We’ve all been there: your neihgbour/aunt/your dad’s friend/your host asks you innocently:

My computer is broken. Can you spare a minute?

‘Yeah, sure’ you say, but deep inside you know yo’ve just screwed up your day.

Because it never takes just a few clicks to fix it. Oh, no. Usually you get stuck with some prehistoric junk so devastated that it calls for Geneva Convention. Desktop all over in Super-Search-Bing-Bar-Like apps. Home page set to HornyRussianBimbos.com. And this pizzaface son wallpaper. You’d run away, but your good manners win. Thou shalt help others and take pains to prove your computer skills.

So there you are, hour by hour solving more and more absurd problems, endlessly reinstalling the OS and listening to the owner’s blabbering about this crap’s odyssey (‘A month ago the fans stopped working, so I windexed them’).

I wish I hadn’t help those people. I could have done zillions of more useful stuff instead, like gazing at the paint drying up in the hallway. Seriously, if you let the tech morons make you do all the shitwork, you’re a sucker. Or even twice a sucker, I’d say. First, nobody appreciates your endeavors. And secondly, once you refuse, they all fall into oblivion.

Why do I say for free? If you took at least some money for your truely professional service, these urgent calls would dwindle to 10%. It’s not your business that your friend’s uncle can’t add subtitles to a pirated movie. Or that he accidentally deleted a word document he’s been creating for 43 years. You just don’t do it, period. Believe me, it’s better to loose a friend than to have one who only calls you when he wants something.

As for me, there are two kinds of people I can do a favor: a) my family, because I care for them, b) pretty girls, because they’re pretty and I can feel like a man (even despite my stomach cramps after pressing 40 kgs).

Nobody else. And here’s a handy reply for persistent questions: I don’t know, I’ve got a Mac.

And its a common knowledge that Macs never need fixing.