Date Someone Who …
Ladies, please. It’s time to stop all these nonsense.
To my fellow brethren,
Date a girl who knows when to stop annoying you by listening to how deeply you sigh, or by looking at the twitch of your eyebrow. Date someone who doesn't nag at you for hours on end when you forgot to lift the toilet seat.
Date a girl who is still willing to date you despite your ravenous sexual appetite and depraved fetishes, knowing damn well what she is getting into.
Date a girl who truly mean it when says that she believes in gender equality and when she says that she does not care about riches and wealth.
Date a girl who rushes to your side the moment she knows you are sick, and instinctively knows when to indulge you with junk food and when to force-feed you with nutritious home broiled soup she made herself. +100 points if she makes the bitter soup better with her sweet sugary kisses afterwards.
Date a girl who is feminine but independent enough to be your aide in your quest to conquer the world, or perhaps to simply carry her own Gucci bag (heaven forbids if she ever forces you to BUY one). Date a girl who is independent but feminine enough to soothe all the problems of your day the moment she pulls you into her gentle bosom.
Date a girl who can always make you happy on any day of the week that ends with a ‘day’. Date her if she knows when to give you your own space, when to leave you alone, when to stick by you even when you say not to, just by looking at the creases between your eyebrow
Date a girl who knows the best and fastest ways to your heart. Date a girl who remembers the little things that you don’t expect them to, like your favorite issue of Calvin and Hobbes comic, the Gundam model that you fell in love with at the shop’s display window, or the time your Liverpool vs ManU match starts (and brings along chips and drinks and watches it with you without falling asleep),
Date a girl who knows when you are hiding your insecurities, and not tell the whole world about that time you accidentally squealed when that flying cockroach zipped by. Date a girl who tells you that you are not scrawny, you are just aerodynamic; that you are not a boar, just simply down-to-earth; that you are amazing even though you are not rich like a doctor or a lawyer or an actor or a singer or model or a CEO or a Director.
Date a girl who notices when you make an extra effort going for a closer shave, or when you splurged on a sneaker to impress her. Date a girl who knows when you need time to hang out with your own friends, not just hers, and gives you the time to do so without checking up on you every 30 minutes.
Date a girl who understands when you say ‘don’t ask’ and not get all paranoid about it. Date a girl who says ‘I’m fine’ and ‘It’s okay’ and truly feels that way. Date a girl who doesn't mind when you fart under your shared blanket, and even describes it as an “adorable act of sharing germs and personal flavor”
Date a girl who does not get jealous of your female friends because she trusts you, but understands that when you get jealous of her male friends, it means that you love her.
Date a girl who does not turn up hours late ‘getting her hair ready for the date’ because you just want to spend more time hanging out with her (not waiting), and does not make you spend 40 agonizing minutes doing nothing in every shop she shops in.
Date a girl who doesn't try to change who you are, and understands that you have a life outside of ‘us’. Date someone who accepts your family, including your mom who criticizes everything she does (moms are perfectionists). Date a girl who feels excited about your future together, despite knowing that there aren't ponies or unicorns and it also means pushing 11 babies out of her vjayjay (plus points if she can look hot after that)
Date a girl who loves you for your loud snoring, your crooked teeth, your pimple scars and other imperfections despite reading all sorts of nonsense like Date Someone Who Makes It Impossible To Date Anyone Else (Not Even Yourself)
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You know what? To hell with expectations and ideal things the ideal person should do for their ideal partner.
To hell with ideals and checklists.
I say,