Thinking of going freelance in 2020?
Just don’t do this…
It’s the 31st May 2004.
I have officially been freelance for one month and I am waiting on payment of my very first invoice. Following a few years of patchy performance in my old job everything was about to change. This was different. Becoming a freelancer would give me the focus I was missing, the diligence, attention to detail, the drive and know-how that my over confidence and ignorance had always promised. Now actual real money was about to appear and prove that yes I was well on my way to taking over the world! Mwah ha ha ha!
The only thing was there was no sign of the money.
Before internet connections were fast enough to constantly hit refresh I was logging on and logging off only to see a blank bank balance in my account. Dial up never sounded so frustrating.
My rent was due on the 1st of June.
“Ok Owen”. I told myself. “You’re in the big leagues now. This is what being in business is all about. Pick up the phone. Chase that money. Show that client who’s boss. If you don’t put your foot down now you’ll never make it as a freelancer!”
I might have actually stood up before dialling and put on my coat indoors. The one with the collars up that makes me look harder than I am. I took a deep breath, picked up my Nokia 3310 and dialled…
My client was a Children’s Theatre Company. Not exactly a sector renowned for crooked dealings but it’s always the soft spoken, uplifting, life affirming ones you need to look out for.
“Hello, is this Sarah?” I said haltingly still standing.
“Oh, hi Owen, how you are you getting on?”
“Hi. Ok, actually. Well not ok. Well…”
“Yes, can I help?”
Now, there’s something that always happens when I’m about to fuck up majorly that distorts reality. Not in a big way but just enough to make me more of a dick than I usually might be. So despite my standing up, deep breaths and usually calm demeanour I said something like:
“It might be too late for help Sarah. And if I asked you for it I don’t know if I could be guaranteed it would arrive because you know what - getting things to me doesn’t seem to be your strong point!”
“I don’t know what you are taking about Owen!?”
“I’m talking about getting paid! My invoice was due today and there’s no sign of it!” By now my deep breaths had become too deep and I was getting light headed. I held on to the table with one hand whilst holding my phone as high as possible so I could still get signal and waited for her answer.
A crackle down the line. “That’s funny.” she said. “I paid that invoice last week. Are you sure?”
“There’s nothing in my account Sarah. I can’t see anything in there.”
“Ok, I have the confirmation here in front of me: £2000 paid into account number 12345678 sortcode 123456 on 25th May.”
“Well that’s where you have gone wrong!” I huffed. “My account number is 23456789 not 12345678!”
“Owen it’s on your invoice. Account number 12345678". Another crackle. This time it was my heart breaking.
There is nothing quite like the physical reaction that occurs when you realise you have completely fucked up. The air rushes out of you, your skin goes grey and all life withers inside you so much so that anything that’s left is very very small indeed. All I had left was a very very small voice.
“Oh” I said. “Oh, I see”.
Because my client was decent she said she’d chase her bank to get the money back and pay me when she did. It took weeks but in that time I grew up more professionally than in a year of working full time.
This blog post was going to be a checklist of things to do if you want to become a freelancer: [INSERT INSPIRATIONAL VOICE HERE] “Know your why”, “Start from a position of strength”, “Get familiar with your numbers”, “Hustle” and finally “Focus on the place where money changes hands”.
Well all of those aren’t worth shit if you don’t put the right bank account details on your invoice. So get that right and everything else is a breeze!*
May the road rise to meet you and the money be in your bank…
Owen
*still working on that over confidence
P.S. Serious freelancing checklist post here: https://medium.com/@owenohreally/how-to-stick-to-your-new-years-resolution-to-go-freelance-55a6e6611e21
