Embrace the Uncomfortable
Feeling comfortable is overrated — challenge yourself.
Our generation has become passive. In general, people are seemingly satisfied by our socially-agreed-upon norm of spending five-days-a-week completing repetitive, menial, meaningless tasks; and the other two days trying to justify our indifference towards leaving our jobs by indulging in all the hedonistic pleasures which we reluctantly prevented ourselves from enjoying the rest of the week. Some of us cram all the individual and social activities into those two days, before returning to work on Monday boasting about how wonderful our weekends were.
We are now so adaptable that we have become complacent. It is not that we avoid uncomfortable situations completely — it is that we have become so accustomed to our usual surroundings that we no longer even know whether we truly enjoy certain aspects of our daily and weekly routines.
I can speak from personal experience — having over-adapted on more than one occasion — that every once in a while, we can benefit from taking a moment to step back and take a hard look at our lives. Which parts do we enjoy, and which parts do we dread? Which activities do we have to force ourselves to do, and which activities come naturally to us? The results may shock you.
Now that you have gained a better understanding of your honest opinion of all aspects of your routine — try and identify some gaps. If you have space in your weekdays for more activities which you enjoy — make time for them. If you find yourself spending your extra time engaging in useless or wasteful activities — make less time for them.
However, and this is the hardest part to understand, do not simply avoid uncomfortable situations. If you are like most people, you will have some uncomfortable situations which you simply can’t avoid, like a mandatory weekly-meeting with an arrogant boss who doesn’t think very much of you. This may be unavoidable for the time-being. On the other hand, if you find yourself wasting too much of your time and energy trying to save a toxic relationship with a friend — allow yourself to stop trying. Some situations should be avoided — especially if they don’t feel beneficial, meaningful or useful to yourself or others.
Other situations — like spending time getting to know acquaintances or family members which you don’t know very well — may be uncomfortable or awkward, but should not be avoided. By learning only to avoid the worst experiences, we can begin to face more easily-dealt-with uncomfortableness head-on, developing a thick skin for ourselves.
This is a difficult balance to achieve — between avoiding pain and stress, and facing cumbersome discomfort— but it is well worth it. By enlarging the perimeter of our comfort zone, we can become stronger, tougher and more adaptable.
We must begin to seek out challenges and painfully-uncomfortable situations — in order to fully understand the depths of the human journey — the highest of highs and the lowest of the lows. This is what makes life worth living — what provides contrast between the monotony and indifference of daily life, the pains of suffering and the joys of living. Without these fluctuations, we are can never truly appreciate our happiest moments, nor can we provide ourselves with closure when the worst happens.
Do not over-adapt to your circumstances — you don’t have to.
Be honest with yourself about what you enjoy and what you don’t.
Avoid pain and negativity — without avoiding situations which sit on the outer reaches of your ever-expanding comfort zone.
Embrace the uncomfortable — and you will find yourself feeling more at home, even in the hardest situations that life presents you with.
