How to Avoid Surface Wants and Ignore Unnecessary Distractions
Tips on how to reach past the surface, and access your deeper needs.
The power is in your hands.
Is your phone the first thing you open when you wake up in the morning, and the last thing you check at night?
Do you often find yourself procrastinating? Distracted from what you set out to achieve for the day?
Do you ever feel like you have less and less time to do the things you really want to do?
Then this article is for you. There already exists a plethora of articles on Medium with helpful advice and tips regarding how to plan your day, how to stay focused, and how to achieve your daily goals. In contrast, this article will explore your goals themselves: and why you are setting them.
To drastically oversimplify most people’s current situations, your daily activities can be separated into two categories: what you want to do, and what you need to do. People tell themselves that they need to go to work, because they need money to pay for rent, bills and food. If you’re currently unemployed, you may feel like you need to find a job that pays well — to provide basic needs for yourself and your family.
If you work a typical 9–5 working day, 5 days a week — this leaves you with much less time devoted to activities that you actually want to take part in: hobbies, get-togethers with friends, quality time with your partner and family — everything besides your job. Now, some people love their jobs, don’t get me wrong — but, nevertheless, it is equally important to make sure that you develop a life outside of your profession.
Unfortunately, many of us feel bombarded with distractions — typically involving satisfying the needs of others, or addressing your own surface wants.
The Needs of Others
By taking care of someone else’s needs entirely (unless they are one of your children, or a family member in-need of assistance) — you aren’t actually helping them. You could help them more by teaching them, guiding them — and showing them how to help themselves. Do not make people dependent on you — help them become more independent. This will help make both of you happier in the long-run.
Avoiding Surface Wants
Some people increasingly chase after what I call “Surface wants” — these are immediate gratification wants, such as indulging in snacks, checking social media feeds, playing games on your phone, or watching crappy TV or pointless YouTube videos. Now, all of these things may bring you benefits in moderation — but, if you indulge too much in these easily-accessible hedonistic desires: most of them will leave you unsatisfied, and feeling empty.
Furthermore, fulfilling these shallow desires will not leave you as satisfied as when you pursue deeper desires. In order to access these wants, you must ignore these other temptations. Ignore those notifications and little red-circles on your phone. Stop watching TV. The key is to allow yourself to get bored — and once you are bored, and have nothing to do — your brain will tell you what it wants.
Some examples of this might include: going for a walk, reading a book, doing some exercise, pursuing a creative passion, even watching a good movie or TV show. In essence, doing things which you find fun — that you might not do very often, but that you wish you did more of. This is the space for those hobbies which you previously told yourself that you didn’t have enough time to do.
Now that you’re no longer distracted by shallow, surface wants — you’ll free up more time. Do not allow yourself to give into temptation — for example, if you put your phone on Airplane mode, fight the temptation to switch it back on minutes later — whatever it is, it can probably wait.
Ignore activities that don’t feel useful, or that they are getting you closer to your long-term goals. Set goals for yourself that involve developing skills, and challenge yourself to be more creative. Reach past the surface and dig deeper — and ask yourself how you actually want to spend your time.
Obviously, like most things in life, this takes moderation and balance. But, I am confident that you will learn more about yourself, and how you truly want to use your limited time — simply by allowing yourself to be bored, every now and again. Your mind will thank you for it.
For other benefits of being bored, take a look at this article here:
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/science/6-scientific-benefits-of-being-bored-a6839306.html
