How to Stop Yourself from Wanting What You Don’t Need
A guide to maintaining a safe distance between our expectations and our reality
It is a very human thing to crave things that we do not have — and to want things that we do not need. Does anyone need more than two or three pairs of shoes? Does anyone need decadent decorations for every holiday of the year? Does anyone need an iPad?
No. And, yet, a symptom of the capitalist world which most readers choose to live in is that there is no limit to our materialism. No one is immune to the marketing strategies of too-big-to-fail corporations — myself included — and it is becoming easier and easier to convince us that we need more.
Better headphones. A weekend trip to a hot and sunny beach. The latest iPhone. The list goes on and on — and doesn’t finish, as new products and experiences are offered to us every day of our lives. With all of this temptation — it’s easy to give in. Especially when you are surrounded by others living in the same city as you — who seem to always have the newest gadgets, the most fashionable clothes, the most expensive sneakers, and seemingly-unlimited budgets.
By trying to live up to the imagined standards of others that we create in our minds — we are making each other poorer. Intellectually and financially poorer, as a society — as we grow less and less diverse, the more we attempt to copy each other — and blend in with the crowd. But the truth is, despite our best efforts — none of us fit in. The notion doesn’t exist in reality — only in our minds.
Even if you look like everyone else and act like everyone else — you will never reach this ideal state of being where everyone accepts you and compliments you as you walk down the street. The most fashionable and attractive humans actually tend to attract glares and stares of envy and disapproval as they walk through busy streets — so, what are we actually aiming for?
Instead of giving in to these hedonistic and materialistic desires — wanting things that you don’t need — consider taking another approach. Take inventory of all your belongings — gadgets, clothes, shoes, etc. How much of it do you really need? (You don’t need to throw anything away — just make a mental note of it.)
Once you appreciate what you already have in your life — in terms of physical goods and invisible connections (friends and relationships) — it is easier to be content with what you have. Be grateful. Then, before your mind tries to, stop yourself from comparing your life to the lives of others — because this is what creates a gap between your expectations and reality.
As soon as we compare our circumstances to someone else’s — we lose balance. We either feel that we have too much or too little — and we are often wrong. This is because comparisons are often flawed, as humans are incredibly good at portraying themselves as living the perfect life. If you compare your real life to the virtual life of someone on Instagram — you will never be happy. And, more importantly, you will never stop wanting things that you don’t need.
Stop comparing yourself to other people. Stop wanting things without reason — simply buying something because of the assumption that it will make you happier, or feel more complete. Buy things that you need, and use things that you have. Stop yourself from wanting superfluous items and experiences — and, instead, try to discover what you truly want.
You’ll be surprised by how much happier you can be — just by being happy with what you already have.
