An Open Letter To The Recipient Of My Unrequited Love

Dear You-Know-Who-You-Are,

5 years. I had unrequited feelings for you for 5 years. Even if I knew that I don’t stand a chance. Even if I knew that you’ll never look at me the way I wanted you to. Still, I silently insisted my feelings. Quietly imagining our ‘what ifs’. Secretly planning our future. Subtly showing you unconditional kindness and affection. Loving in secret, without asking for anything in return. It was all my choice. And if given a chance to go back to the past and redo everything, I’d still make the same choices and do it all over again. I loved you. I accept you. For who you are and for who you are not. Your flaws. Your shortcomings. All of you. I never wanted to change you. I still love you. I really do. This might sound pathetic but I’d choose you above the others. Always. By default. I’m trying my very best to move on, yet I still succumb and relapse. You have no idea how difficult it is. No idea how much you fill up the space in my mind. But that’s okay. I know time will set me free. I know time will help me let go. I know time will help me erase this misplaced feelings that I feel towards you. Thank you for making me realize how deep I can love someone unconditionally. I’m sorry if I don’t have the guts to say this to you. The best I can do right now is to put this out here. Maybe you’ll get to read this. Maybe not. Either way I don’t care. This is me letting go and burying my feelings for real. This is me saying goodbye. Have a good life.

Your friend,

Jenika ❤️