How to break up with your partner (#IndiaVersion)

There’s a lot of reasons people break up.

  • You don’t earn enough money;
  • You concentrate on only earning money;
  • You’re not funny;
  • You don’t take things seriously;
  • You’re great, but you don’t have the zing;
  • You’re great, but my zing doesn’t come on when I’m with you (pun intended);
  • You’re too short;
  • You’re too short (when I wear my heels);
  • You’re too healthy (because nobody’s fat in India)
  • You’re too malnourished (because nobody can be skinny in India);
  • You’re too much Gujarati or Sindhi or Marathi or whatever region you were born in (because it is important to step away from your identity);

And last but not the least:

  • Our kundli doesn’t match #ForReal

A recent episode with a friend went down this last piece of information and hence I pen (keyboard) it today. His long standing (of three months) girlfriend decided to beak up with him.

This is how the conversation went:

Her: “We can’t be together anymore”

him: “Whaaat? What happened overnight?”

Her: “My grandfather got our kundli’s compared and it didn’t match.”

Him: (still nonchalantly, as if he’s seen it all): “Don’t worry. All this can be fixed. Give another pundit a 1000 rupee note and he will ensure that it matches.”

Her: “That will not happen in this case. It’s not us, it’s our child. The kundli reading says that our child will have ill-health all it’s life.”

Him: “I’m sure there are ways, you need not even have a kid, if this is the issue. And if you really want a kid then you can always have surrogates, test tube formation, science has progressed. Moreover, adoption is a method. It would be great to improve someone’s life adopting a kid.”

Her: “No, that is not possible. Those are the wrong ways.”

Him: “I’m sorry. Bye.”

I think he did the right thing. What do you think?

PS: It took me 3 hours and 4 beers to convince him that he did the right thing.

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