How to break up with your partner (#IndiaVersion)
There’s a lot of reasons people break up.
- You don’t earn enough money;
- You concentrate on only earning money;
- You’re not funny;
- You don’t take things seriously;
- You’re great, but you don’t have the zing;
- You’re great, but my zing doesn’t come on when I’m with you (pun intended);
- You’re too short;
- You’re too short (when I wear my heels);
- You’re too healthy (because nobody’s fat in India)
- You’re too malnourished (because nobody can be skinny in India);
- You’re too much Gujarati or Sindhi or Marathi or whatever region you were born in (because it is important to step away from your identity);
And last but not the least:
- Our kundli doesn’t match #ForReal
A recent episode with a friend went down this last piece of information and hence I pen (keyboard) it today. His long standing (of three months) girlfriend decided to beak up with him.
This is how the conversation went:
Her: “We can’t be together anymore”
him: “Whaaat? What happened overnight?”
Her: “My grandfather got our kundli’s compared and it didn’t match.”
Him: (still nonchalantly, as if he’s seen it all): “Don’t worry. All this can be fixed. Give another pundit a 1000 rupee note and he will ensure that it matches.”
Her: “That will not happen in this case. It’s not us, it’s our child. The kundli reading says that our child will have ill-health all it’s life.”
Him: “I’m sure there are ways, you need not even have a kid, if this is the issue. And if you really want a kid then you can always have surrogates, test tube formation, science has progressed. Moreover, adoption is a method. It would be great to improve someone’s life adopting a kid.”
Her: “No, that is not possible. Those are the wrong ways.”
Him: “I’m sorry. Bye.”
I think he did the right thing. What do you think?
PS: It took me 3 hours and 4 beers to convince him that he did the right thing.