I’m on the fence with this. I like to believe if you believe in something it’ll happen. On one hand — I repeatedly told my now husband that there was a reason we kept coming back to each other. I also told him I was going to have his first born.

Though I think with the first born bit I ultimately jinxed us haha but nonetheless — I had his first born and we’re now married.

And I can honestly say whenever I have been faced with a hard decision, and prayed on it — I’ve been given some sign to help me make my choice. Or when I’ve been stressed about money, it always seems to just fall into our laps at the right time.

Now, I’m still working on the money falling when I don’t need it but hey eventually right?? Lol

But that’s where I draw the line. Because no matter how much I try to think myself into being totally and completely happy and not depressed — I’m still battling that mental war inside. And despite my daily requests of not being sick with Lupus, I am in fact still sick. My requests for a good healthy relationship with my mother — has been met constantly with negative impact.

So who knows? Maybe I can’t think my way to health because my mind isn’t healthy? Or maybe, my luck is just in other areas of life? Maybe I’m just not trying hard enough?

I like to think all things happen for a reason.