Why you should be scared of marriage too.
As a little girl growing up I’ve always had things I’ve been petrified of. Some of my earliest fears include:
Jafar, Maleficent and of course, Ursula.
Then it was the Michael Jackson, ‘Thriller’ video. The fear intercepted my reality every 28 days when a full moon appeared. Very quickly, watching a 6 minute music video turned into an overwhelming sense of anxiety and panic that my loved ones would soon too become zombies.
As you get older you realise how your earlier fears were incredibly illogical. The list seems to dwindle and yes you’ll still have inexplicable fears (e.g. snakes, crocodiles, germs) but for those that remain or soon emerge, these seem to have a greater impact on your life and are a lot harder to shake.
For me one of those became the fear of marriage.
Some girls my age have been dreaming of their wedding day, the gown, the decor, the fuss of it all and of course their beloved ‘Prince Charming’.
However, life is but a fairytale. Here are some of my rational thoughts to explain my fear of marriage.
In Beauty and the Beast, the Beast initially appears to be constantly angry and depressed. Soon comes an innocent girl who falls for him instantly, overlooking his anger issues. In Belle’s case she chooses to see the good in him and concludes his attitude is due to a series of traumatic events, a ‘cursed life’ if you will, that’s led him to develop anger issues. She weathers the storm, rides it out, believes in him and at last… the waves are calm. But for how long? As with every Disney movie that has a happy ending this is usually far from the case. In reality, a marriage will hit you with a succession of storms but what scares me the most is the untamed beast that resurfaces or worse a new monster you never knew that you’re suddenly confronted with.
We all want to put our best foot forward to allure someone who has captivated our interest but when this leads to you pretending to be someone else it’s plain deceit. Under the guise of ‘Prince Ali’, Aladdin captures the heart of Princess Jasmine. He knowingly lies about his identity aware that he wouldn’t be accepted for who he truly is. In the real world, this is the same as lying on your Tinder profile, Okcupid account or Plenty of fish profile (and before you ask, no I’m not a serial dater). Living a lie to get what or who you want might work for a couple of years but a marriage is a lifetime and you can’t hide forever. My fear… is when the curtain drops.