In the Heart of Bandung: Where True Beauty Resides
In the heart of Bandung, a city that holds tales of beauty and charm.
They’re not wrong when they say Bandung is a city created when God was smiling. You’ll find plenty of beautiful sights in Bandung. The tea plantations covered in a thin layer of fog in the highlands of Pangalengan, the lush green trees along Cipaganti road, the warmth of Dago street at night, the bustling traffic in Braga, and the crowded Kiaracondong station (let’s ignore the last one).
But what I want to talk about now is not the beauty of the place itself, but about the people who live there.
Besides its beauty, Bandung is also known for its good-looking people.
I was born and spent the first fifteen years of my life in Bandung. Growing up in an environment with high beauty standards and stereotypes about beautiful Bandung women was quite a moral burden.
When all the women around me have fair skin, petite bodies, and soft voices that make them look cute, having dark skin, being tall, having a bigger body, and a deeper voice as a woman makes me feel like there’s something wrong with me.
Even when I was a kid, without anyone telling me, I realized I wasn’t pretty. Because none of the beauty standards people believe in applied to me
I will always remember how people treated me differently, not as special as they treated people born with fair skin and beautiful faces.
Back then, being mocked by guys who only care about looks was like daily bread for me. They stuck to their standards, making me feel like trash that needed to be cleaned up.
Many people say that guys from Bandung are the sweetest, friendliest, and kindest guys they’ve ever met. Until they’re not pretty enough to be treated well.
I’ve been there, being a woman who’s never been treated kindly or sweetly, even though many people say I’m smart, funny,and have a great sense of humor.
They often calling me with mean nicknames like ‘si hideung’, the bear from Masha and the Bear, or Shrek. Even though the guys saying these things look no better than Kevin the sea cucumber from SpongeBob.
But I never hated Bandung. Even though there were many ugly guys with no brain who acted like they were better than everyone else, which made me question my self-worth, I still love my hometown.
Despite meeting many unkind men, I still find Bandung beautiful.
The beauty I found in Bandung is not only about visuals, like what people always praise.
Maybe, beauty is embodied by my grandmother, who always greets me with a smile, strokes my hair before I sleep, and reassures me that it’s alright to not conform to society’s beauty standards.
Maybe, the true meaning of beauty is something my grandmother taught me. She said that being pretty is pointless if you can’t think with your brain.
Maybe, beauty is like my grandmother who is full of love and always shares it with everyone.
Maybe, beauty is found in my grandmother’s wrinkled smile when she saw my perfect score on the national exam and was the first to appreciate my late-night study sessions.
Maybe, beauty is embodied in my grandmother. She always assures me that I’m beautiful, even though she probably knows I’m not the prettiest in our family. She doesn’t conform to society’s beauty standards.
My grandma only lives in Bandung, and that’s where I agree that Bandung is full of beauty.
I used to be insecure about my appearance. I complained about having a big nose, wondered why my skin was darker than my siblings’, and wished I had inherited lighter skin from my Chinese great-grandparent. I was also upset that I couldn’t lose weight easily, even when I was so hungry I had to go to the hospital.
But when I think of my grandmother, I remember that being beautiful isn’t always about looks.
I realized I found beauty within myself.
I always smile at strangers on the street, I always listen carefully to the elderly people I meet at the train station who tell me about their lives, I always make people laugh with my jokes, I always lend a shoulder to cry on for my friends when they’re sad, I always give street cats a little of my food, I always pray for everyone I meet on the street to be safe until they reach their destination, and I’ve already forgiven those who have hurt me.
I discovered something much more meaningful.
Their insults will never make me hate Bandung. I’ve found the beauty I’ve been looking for.
There might be other people out there who have gone through the same thing as me. I hope you can find the beauty within yourself, just like I did. There will come a time when someone else will see the beauty in you that not everyone notices.Know your worth. Don’t let society’s standards make you blind to your own beauty.
My journey to discover my own beauty is far from over, but I’ve come to realize that I’m loved just the way I am,without having to meet those unrealistic beauty standards.
Maybe when I’m writing this, my grandma already in heaven, with all the beautiful angels. I just wanted to let you know that I’ve made peace with things and I’m learning to love myself.
Thank you for having such a kind and pure soul. Your love and beauty will last forever.
