the desire to be loved

There are nights when I lie in bed, wondering how the hatred in my life was once love. As I stare at the ceiling I wonder how people could’ve loved me differently.

Love seemed so effortless and endless when we were young, but the same love began to fade as we grew older, leaving us longing for it more than ever. Every film we watch, every song we listen to, every couple we see reminds us of the love we feel we’re missing. Every morning we wake up with the realization that we just aren’t loved enough.

This immense desire to be loved, to be appreciated, to be understood and, to simply belong somewhere and to someone is the most powerful emotion or perhaps the greatest vulnerability we as humans, possess.

Ironic, isn’t it? We often fear giving love yet yearn to receive it. No one would choose to give love if they had the chance to be loved in return. Wanting to be loved is a part of being human. This desire doesn’t ever dim, this longing always stays in our hearts till we draw our last breath.

“The desire to be loved is the last illusion
Give it up and you will be free.”
― Margaret Atwood

Everything we do is to be loved. We write to be seen, we study to be recognized, we dress up to be admired, we strive to be acknowledged, we post pictures to be appreciated, we cook to be complimented and we live with the hope of being treasured by people someday.

Now, imagine a life where that desire no longer exists. The world would open up in ways we can’t imagine. I long for that freedom.
I desperately crave a life without the desire to be loved.

If you could take away one thing from me, Oh Lord, let that be the desire to be loved.

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