who are you when nobody is watching?

I remember being asked to prepare a speech on “Who am I?” by our English teacher, remember exactly how I sat chin in my hand wondering the answer. It wasn’t that I didn’t know myself, it was the struggle of choosing which version of “me” to write about. I am different with different people. And it took me time to realize that my favorite version of “me” is the one that comes out when no one’s around, when my actions aren’t captured.

Aren’t we different when nobody’s watching? when no eyes are judging us? our walk, tone, expressions, dressing everything that defines personality… changes in the blink of an eye. We laugh like hyenas, sing our lungs out in the shower, dance like mad. Those beautiful, rather, strange parts of our personalities oozes out only when we’re alone.

But maybe there’s something more to this solitude, something deep, something difficult to put into words.

You know, we all have evil parts within us, dark corners alive and secret passageways that breathe inside our body. When no one’s around, we may become selfish or wish ill on our enemies. We let out all those buried emotions. We end up revealing the unrevealable.

But maybe there’s kindness within us too. When no one’s watching, we still smile at the beggar with love, we still return the money dropped from a stranger’s pocket and still try to be the best version of ourselves.

We are the dark secrets we conceal and the mistakes that we make.
We are the love left unexpressed and the unnoticed kindness.

So, who are you when nobody’s watching? what do you do when no eyes are over you, when you aren’t being judged for every action, when your moves aren’t captured by anyone?
Are you still yourself, or do you become unrecognizable?

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