Get Inside My Brain: Writing Myself Home
I have a lot of random thoughts. I don’t know if this is normal.
But I did think it would be fun to keep track of them all in my little digital journal this week. Why? Couldn’t tell ya. I’m weird like that.

I’m on Twitter. I don’t know if you’re on Twitter. But I have a confession: Sometimes I appreciate a Tweet but I don’t tap the little ❤ because I don’t think it needs it. Just a little peek into what kind of supportive Aunt/Sister/Friend I am.
Monday evening after dinner:
Me to Me: I’m giving you some homework for the week.
Me to Me: 1.) Call some people you love just because. 2.) Tell them you love them just because. 3.) Leave a voicemail if they don’t answer.
Upon suffering while trying to write a poem:
Me to Me: Let art flow from you like lava — hot & slow.
Me to Me: Yes, that’s good advice. Write that down.
Tuesday morning while driving to work:
Should I be more concerned with the fact I’m constantly pestered about if I’m dating anyone when I’ve made it clear time and time again I’m not looking for anyone to date at the moment or enjoying my one life? Think I’m just gonna enjoy my one life.
While sitting in Atlanta traffic:
Sitting in Atlanta traffic is a goldmine for ideas. It’s where I get the ideas to do crap like this. I’m a genius.
Riding the elevator:
Individual gets on with a “Positive Vibes Only” shirt.
Me to me: Nothing draws the abyss to you faster than a “Positive Vibes Only” shirt. Life is not one constant emotion. Man, that would be boring.
Me to individual getting off the elevator: Have a good day!
Getting the most out of my refrigerator:
+ I put a big bottle of water in there every night because I think cold water in the morning is refreshing and helps jumpstart my body.
+ I also believe in keeping mini-candy in there because it never melts and it’s good for you when you do something that deserves a small reward. Like laundry. Or writing a really good Tweet.
+ It’s great for storing egg salad from Publix. You buy a little container that just keeps on giving, you put it in there, and you can eat egg salad sandwiches for days. DAYS.
Worried an email sounded too stern:
Upon review, I discovered it used two exclamation points and remembered it’s not my job to be stomped over to preserve someone else’s feelings. I added one more in the subject line for good measure.
Me to me: 😏 (smug face)
On surpassing my reading list for the year by 7 extra books and it’s only September:
The problem with loving to read is when you love to read so much that suddenly you find yourself reading like 5 books at once and then all the sudden it’s like 50 books, I mean 100, and then you can’t even see your front door anymore or your fridge and you’re stuck and starving! But cozy.
Working on new creative writing pieces:
Me, writing the first draft of anything: just get the words out. Doesn’t matter if it’s good. You can fix it later. That’s what editing is for.
Me, receiving the gentlest and smartest of edits: So this is how I die.
Upon being invited to brunch on a Wednesday morning:
Me to them: I can’t, I have this thing called a full-time job.
Me to me: A group of women is called a brunch.
Me to me: *chuckles*
Late lunch meeting on Wednesday. Everyone has sandwiches:
Person 1: I love sandwiches.
Person 2: I love tomatoes.
Me to them: So I guess you could say, “I love sandwiches from my head to-ma-toes.”
Me to me: *chuckles internally*
P1: 👀
P2: 👀
Me: 😏 (smug face)
Thursday morning, alone at my desk:
Art, in any form, does not just materialize out of the void. It comes from individuals at their desks, usually struggling with something, just looking for ways to put it down.
Thursday morning, before a meeting:
A: Do you think you are a little smart?
B: Do you think you are average smart?
C: Do you think you are extremely smart?
D: Do you think you’re deceiving yourself?
Me to me: They say to always pick C when in doubt.
Me to me: Don’t be a narcissist.
Me to me: Why are we all so conditioned to associate a little self-confidence with narcissism?
Me to me: I love me.
What’s the point of listing all the random thoughts I decided to chronicle over the course of the week? It’s an exercise in living unrestrained.
It’s an exercise in being me.
It’s a mirror. A way of thinking through who I am and what I believe and letting that self-understanding inform the person I am every day.
We’re always becoming.
I learned that lesson from The Velveteen Rabbit and his wise old friend, the Skin Horse:
“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you...’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
I make little lists like this and keep track of random thoughts and ideas because I feel like it makes me a better person and a better writer.
It’s a self-reminder that love isn’t a scavenger hunt and holding back — whether it’s being too reserved with your opinions, the fear of drawing attention to yourself, being TOO MUCH of YOU as if there’s such a thing — is nothing but a self-imposed handicap.
To love others and to love yourself takes work.
To be yourself in all situations takes work.
To think for yourself and speak for yourself takes work.
Be proud of the work you put into yourself, your relationships, your work, and your life. Be confident in the love your family and friends show you for who you’ve shown them you are. Be patient with yourself and your self-doubt.
Do what you need to do to be you every day. Do what you need to do to build your home and your tribe. I didn’t say find it; I said build it.
As for me, I like using my pen as a hammer. I like to write myself home.
