In life most people, if not all are lucky (or not so lucky) to experience something that changes them profoundly. Whether it be a book, a death of a close friend, love, heartbreak, it’s something that demands that the person fundamentally questions who they are. For me a few days ago it was a book entitled “Identical” by Ellen Hopkins. This book is not for the easily troubled or weak minded as it is very descriptive and very raw but also very very real. It deals with the troubles of sexual abuse and dissociative identity disorder. People do not realize that something is troubling them until they are forced to come to terms with the reality of it. The source of the trouble. The difficult thing is finding a healthy way to deal with it. A way that isn’t destructive to ones well being. It’s kind of ironic, a character in the book is raped on multiple occasions by her father. Instead of shying away from the idea of sex she instead welcomes it to the point of promiscuity. Her mindset is at least when she’s voluntarily having sex she has control unlike when her father rapes her. It’s sad but as someone who has a deeper understanding of that type of situation I totally get it. If you are a victim of sexual abuse from someone who you considered trustworthy then I highly suggest reading this book. Any victim of sexual abuse really. In this case that kind of abuse from someone you loved and trusted shakes the very core of any trust you might look to build with someone in the future. It’s a heartbreaking and sometimes hopeless situation but it is possible to find an out. To find a way to release yourself from that type of pain. It takes years and it takes some soul searching but find comfort in the fact that it is possible to get help, it’s possible to get better. It’s hard to believe that when it feels as though sometimes only darkness follows you but have hope. Weirdly enough, most sexual abuse victims do not feel comfortable talking to close family members about that type of stuff. It’s sad but while they may want to help, while they may sympathize, they can never understand the pain, the sense of loneliness and loss, having something so precious to you be taken away, they can’t truly understand how that could possibly feel. I suggest going to a professional for help. Schools offer free counseling, there are ways to move on from the pain. Not ways to erase it, but ways to cope with it, ways to make it a bit more bearable.