I sit inside my small room in the heart of the expat district in Bangkok Thailand. I have my disciplines which is why you will normally find me in my room at 10pm burning a candle and indian incense in my room. The ritual of calming down and going inward is something that my late teacher told me about. He suggested to open out in the morning and close up at night . “ Have your routine for both” he suggested. Writing is a great reflection to remind yourself that you are NOT going crazy. Reflecting upon the events of the week and what you may have learned is worthwhile. Examine who you are and why you make the choices you do. I realize that I am really a humble soul. I do not seek to control or manipulate others and I am not an egoist among people I mingle with. I signed a contract this past week with a school. The man who watched me do the demo was a middle eastern British man. He was the man who had gotten angered weeks leading up to my interview. I had been given his phone chat contact from Mathew, the bloke who was working there and helping me to get on with the school. Nersi, the middle eastern man had gotten upset because I was texting him about whether or not the interview was in fact going to happen. Since I had not heard back from anyone I was wanting to know if things would still move forward. I at that time did not realize that Nersi, the head teacher was not working closely with the “ agency” therefore, he was annoyed by MY texting him.

Later on, I finally was contacted by the agency staff, a young filipina woman who did an online interview and sent me to the demo with none other than Nersi, the head teacher. He seemed a bit full of himself as he sat in the kids class as I played guitar and made the kids laugh. He was also laughing himself. Then came the first day. I walked in fully dappered with vest and coat, to which he replied “ Nice wrinkled coat” I said “ thank you” in a slight low mumble to myself, not really believing that he just said that to me. Strike one. I went to class and had back to back classes with kindergarten kids with masks on their face. All of them. They read and we sang, we chatted, we sang again, we laughed. I was really having fun.

Back upstairs in the stuffy office where abo;ut 20 non native english teachers sat with Nersi facing everyone. Clearly, there was not enough space and you could feel your mind being jammed up with the minds of Nersi as he belted out his pompous opinion on this and that. I knew that I was not going to be able to handle this room, hell , even the school was annoying. The layout, this place felt like a prison. I realized that there was nowhere that I could really sit in this school, it was simply not designed the same as all of the other schools that I had taught at. I was used to a nice staff room with open windows, a fan , air con if we wanted. But this was terrible. The head teachers attitude was annoying and I left the first day noticing that I was stressed and unhappy, but had not thought about quitting or stopping at all. Not until the next morning, that is. The next morning I had a strange gut feeling. The feeling was that I was massively stressed by this place. The idea of going there gave me the cringes. I hopped in a taxi and headed for the school. Along the way I got the courage to contact the filipina who had hired me. I told her about what the head teacher said to me and she said she was sorry. She asked if I would be coming in today. I told her that I would not be coming in at all. She pleaded with me and reaussured me that things would change. At the same time as I was texting the woman, Nersi, was calling me and letting the phone ring a long time. He had texted something like “ thank you for your help” and I knew that he was doing damage control.

But, I had made up my mind. I would not go and/but I had to retrieve my guitar from the staff room and see the ogre himself. I headed up the back stairs and reached the pool. Just around the corner from the top of the stairs was the staff room door. I entered. “ Good morning “ said some of the filipina teachers. I said good morning and grabbed my guitar. Just as I had reached the glass door, there he was. “ OK MAN!” he says, I just ignored him and walked out.

The agency later was trying to send me to another school, but since I have heard from other friends that all the schools that this agency deal with are “ no bueno” I will forge my own way and find my happiness elsewhere. I learn more and more not to put myself in situations that will stress me just for the sake of money. I still believe in happiness and to have a happy life your work life must not be left out of the equation.