Shahrzad Pakgohar
Sep 2, 2018 · 2 min read

How to think about relationship conflicts?

Since I was 20, people come to me and ask for relationship advice. I don’t know exactly why I look eligible for that. It might be that I am a good listener, and people usually just need someone to listen to them carefully. Having other people experiences in mind, my own life lessons, and the books and courses lead up to several rules of thumb for a complicated phenomenon like a relationship. These rules are not facts, they are a mindset, the way I think about the relationship.

Recently, one of my friends has asked for relationship advice. don’t consider myself as an advisor, but there is no harm in sharing experience.

The number one rule of relationship to me is: Relationship is something to build, not something to have.

It’s a wrong fantasy to imagine finding a partner is the most important or the only phase of a strong relationship and after that, it is only peacefully living together forever.

Finding a partner is just like finding the right peak, but are you determined enough to conquer the summit?

Two different people, usually without any prior knowledge, are stated in a new position. Everything looks fine in the beginning, but the journey hasn’t been started yet. After a while they face conflicts. Would they end the journey because of an obstacle, say goodbye and forget about the reason they choose this peak to conquer? Or they pave the way and turn impassable to a passable one?

This is “your” relationship. It isn’t a pre-tested peak with ready mountain passes. If you are not going to make a route to peak, who else should?

Maybe there is something wrong in choosing the right peak, but if you are sure or even guess this is that peak for you to feel the happiness on it, take care of the journey and fight for victory.

Shahrzad Pakgohar

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I was born high-flying 😎