Shahrzad Pakgohar
Aug 31, 2018 · 2 min read

Perfect Imperfections

When I was studying about people with high levels of self-esteem, one of the characteristics was they believe in themselves. This isn’t a blind belief by ignoring the flaws, vice versa, they are aware of their imperfections and have accepted that as part of themselves.

Have you ever felt people can’t trust you and don’t believe in your capabilities?

Before questioning others for their attitude, answer this question: Do you believe in yourself?

I don’t know about the scientific aspects of communication but my experience shows that self-acceptance and self-esteem are like invisible radiations originated from the person and received by others. If you don’t truly believe in yourself, how do you expect others to do this in favor of you?

Others usually consider me as a confident person, but in my mind, there are some dark spaces with a demon whispering in my head “you are not good enough.” Honestly, the only reason that makes me feel down is that I sometimes doubt my eligibility.

I have kind friends that always support me in my “eligibility crisis” times, but I have a personal solution to this crisis too. I try to proof my efficacy to myself. I plan for something, for example doing a merely hard task for a limited period and make myself committed to doing that and then I just feel much better. When I believe in myself, others will do, and this response will enhance my self-esteem again, a positive reinforcing loop.

In this proof of merit battlefield, sometimes I win, and sometimes I lose, but I know self-acceptance is an inevitable trait to reach wisdom.

P.S. I don’t know if you have listened to “All of me” by John Legend, I borrowed the title from the lyrics of this music.