our Pandora boxes

when something blindsides you, the first instinct is shock. the literal definition of being blindsided according to the Merriam-Webster dictionary is to “catch (someone) unprepared; attack from an unexpected position”. unprepared. unexpected. attack. now, the healthy response to a blindsided attack is to express an emotion: anger, sadness, grief, fury, etc. i could list all the synonyms on the goddamn planet but the expression of emotion or the emotional response is what helps the attack dissipate. but then there are people who shut down. who close themselves off from the rest of the world. who take their anger, sadness, grief and fury, compact it into a tiny box, lock it, throw away the key, and pray to the almighty deity above that it stays shut away inside of their own massive black hole, well, forever. and in that moment, it seems really easy to hide into the deepest, darkest corners of yourself.

however, the human existence does not thrive on these locked boxes loaded with powerful, charged emotions. the boxes stayed buried under the layers of facades and falsehoods created to keep them hidden. our emotional boxes that we often conceal under falsified layers are opened by the Pandora that is our subconscious. the mask of “i’m okay” and the front of “i’m stronger than ever” falls at your feet as soon as your Pandora opens the boxes. because these boxes no longer belong to you when you throw out the keys. when you relinquish control of them, your subconscious lies in wait, your psyche’s sly predator itching for the opportunity to wrench all the crates open and set your repressed emotions free. and it only takes seconds for them to impregnate your conscious existence with its spawn of self-loathing and misery. you’re back at square one but not even because square one did not hurt so vehemently with such intensity.

don’t let your subconscious turn into a psychological Pandora. don’t give it the chance to throw you into the miserable, black space you created when you decided that your emotions were not worth being addressed. don’t compartmentalize your hurt, your anger, your sadness, your grief, your fury. it’s okay to feel. it’s okay to express and respond. it’s really really okay.