Learning to say NO

Life is hard. Sometimes people are tough. We often have a feeling that something is not right, we're doing wrong. We may think that they're trying to take advantage on us, but if we think and reflect a little, it could be fault of our own behavior.

Recently I found out that I'm a "easy adaptability/flexibility person", witch means that I'm capable to adapt myself and face the daily situations, managing how to deal with people. However, it also means that sometimes I tend to say yes more easily even when I want to say no; it's a lack on my own quality.

Now, I want to share something that might be simple, but still is powerful and life changing for those — like me — whom have these kind of behavior: Start to say NO. I've been learning this on the past four months (same time I've moved to Amsterdam) in The Netherland, with dutch culture and way of life.

More explained: I'm from Brazil and over there we always try to be kind with advises, our speech, our way to be with people, with what the other will think about us and about our opinion. We always have that perhaps or maybe in our speech, and makes that we never really express our trully opinion. We use as much facial and corporal expressions as we can to say something, to demonstrate an idea or emotion (like speak loudly, yell, put hand to the air..). Sometimes is a little bit scary to hear the Dutch being so rude. Well, I don't want to be interpreted in the wrong way. They're not rude, they're honest, directs, and don't try to hurt you, just say they're real opinion. And they [Dutch] do it in all aspects of life: the I is more important then the WE; YES really means YES, NO really means NO; the words are enough to show and express the opinion to others, doesn't need to use vocal or too much visual contact.

Actually is pretty simple: don't push yourself too much trying to make people like you, like your attitudes or opinion. We can't please everyone all the time, specially in a so multiple world where every person have a different opinion and eventually want to express it.

When you start to relax and see how all around you always reacts, is easy. Pay attention: It's not just about opinion or attitudes. It's about how you can deny situations that before you won't do just for be afraid on what people will think about your denial or not. We can't live with that thought that the other opinion is the most important thing, more than our desires. Stop to agree with things you don't like, with things you don't care about.

Life is to short to worry about opinions, be focused on what you want and what you think that is better for you.

Image from: https://pinkytoposh.files.wordpress.com/2014/03/38ea45109f8d7976efd0c001b83d8695.jpg