Today after a quarter of a whiskey bottle I’m lying in bed. Head swirling with thoughts of guilt and unease. What has my life become I am no one.
I’m 116 kg to this day. I have ankylosis spondylitis for almost 10 years. I’m someone that should be a pinnacle of health. But I have become the worse.
I can and will find millions of excuses why I shouldn’t be trying my best to get out of this situation. I’m a inch away from being a heart patient. I’m a prime candidate for diabetes. But I’m still fucking around.
I talked with someone who has changed her life around. I this was the motivation I needed. Today will be the last minus day of my petty life. I will change and tomorrow will be day one of the new life I deserve.
I want to publicly blog my journey so I wouldn’t be tempted to fall of the wagon. Someone will read this and find out what a pussy I am if I don’t do this. Here I take my oath. Under the influence of alcohol giving me the strength I need. I will share this in facebook to ensure that I won’t veer off.
I solemnly swear that I will stick to my work out plans and diet plan till I deem my self worthy of giving in. I will not abuse my health with any substances to destroy the temple which is my body.