Sometimes I lay awake at night and I wonder about our world. I wonder why God created us the way he did. I mean, if he’s so smart, and knows all, why create the human race? We are by far the most self-serving, egotistical and ignorant species I’ve ever witnessed. I’ve observed that a lot of people have their own agenda. The common man wonders, How much money can I make? Big corporations ask: How many resources can I use? Politicians ask, How many people can I get to vote for me? CEO’s asking how many people can I get to work 9–5 for me? Priests ask: How many people can I get to enforce a certain religion? Optimists ask, how many people can I get to be happy? Pessimist ask: how many can I get to see the horrible truth of reality? Realists ask: Do others see what I’m seeing? It’s all an agenda. Either others will influence you, or you will influence them. We are self-serving creatures.
Everyone wants to be more spiritually, physically, mentally, financially, psychologically BETTER than what they are. What are we chasing? Who set these rules? And, Why? I don’t want to pray. I don’t want to count calories. I don’t want to read any more books. I don’t want to work for anyone. I don’t want to understand my emotions.
I just want to be. The more I try to be myself, the more I realized the people around me getting pissed off. Like I did something wrong. They look at me like I’m confused. The only thing I’m confused about is them and society. Why are people chasing shit? A better body, a soulmate, an education, a nicer car, a career, happiness. Who put these rules here? Am I the only one questioning this shit? Is anyone around me even alive? Is anyone around me thinking? Is anyone thinking about the same shit I’m thinking about?
If God were legit, why would he create this reality for me to live in? A lot of people say Man was created in the image of God. This just sounds SO stupid. How? How do they know? And why? Why would he do that? People come up with all these reasons for shit. In my mind, it’s like you’re one person, on this tiny planet amongst 100 billion others, and you’re trying to defend “God” the creator of it all. Give me a break. If he was out there, things wouldn’t be set up this way. If we are his “children”, would you abandon your child and have them question your existence? What kind of parent does that?
Instead, we have religion. The most ignorant fucking thing I have ever come across. “Rules” people follow in order to gain salvation or something. Heaven. If you were a parent, could you send your child to a “hell” because they did something as a human? On a planet with 100 billion others? His actions should be so minuscule, shouldn’t they? They are one person, out of 7 Billion, in a galaxy out of 100 billion other galaxies. What the fuck could your child have done in this grand scheme master plan for you to condemn them to hell? What is so god damn important?
Religion is a form of control over the masses to believe in some shit that doesn’t make any sense. All this worship, for what? Religion 1 says: “all those who are not religion 1, will go to hell.” Religion 2 says: “All those who are not religion 2, will go to hell.” It looks like we are all going to hell, whether you like it or not.
Your great grand parents taught this shit to your grand parents, then they taught this shot to your parents, and now here you are, carrying this bullshit baggage from centuries ago and you’re so engrossed in all of this based on where and which family you were born into. But yet, you couldn’t let go of your religion, because it’s who you are. So you stick with others like you, and you create this divide telling each other you’re better than the others. Or some version of this, but you tell yourself you’re open to other beliefs. But you couldn’t drop your religion. There’s hell on the other side, there’s backlash, there’s banishment, there’s mockery… well to hell with society and their “fake” rules.
I’m tired. I’m fed up. I’m done. I don’t want to be put in a box or a category on some shit that doesn’t make any sense.
Don’t push no agenda on me. Don’t push no speech or lesson on me. Don’t push no holy book on me. Don’t come at me pushing rules about shit you know nothing about. I’ve realized there may be two Gods. There’s God, who supposedly created this whole thing. Then there’s your version that people on this earth created. I just want nothing to do with your version. I want nothing to do with your rules. If there is a God, he wouldn’t want that for me. He would want me to be me. He would want me to be me. Isn’t that why we are here? I mean, If I had children, I wouldn’t want any of this for them. None of this bullshit. I’d want them to be unapologetically themselves. Whatever that looked like. Without a care for what society is and thinks.
I’d want them to be free, a lot like how I want to be free right now.