Farewell, Contemplation

What you think is what you do. Right?

WRONG. You do what you do. Or you do not. Simple.

All those exquisite and manuscript length plans are just that, plans. I was thinking about this a lot lately. Let’s put this in a timeline.

Childhood

In the beginning, there were thoughts but no understanding of them. For a baby anything on the ground is sustenance. Be it dirt, Lego or balls. A ball, I mean a ball. Of course there is a thought process and it’s really, “you drop it I’ll eat it, even if it smells bad.”

That’s it. A simple algorithm.

Then when baby starts to understand the words, shit happens. Parents start to set rules, saying you can’t eat anything on the ground. They tell her the difference among food, plastic, dirt and dog shit. Somewhere in that time span her friends tell her about 'Two-Seconds” rule. Someone tells her if it’s in a wrapper you eat it even from the ground. Someone else says if it’s solid matter like candy and nobody is looking, then you can put a clause the “Two-Seconds” rule.

So there it is. Multiple lines of thoughts. Of course it is better to not eat dirt. But what happens when she drops a wrapped candy on the ground? All those algorithms start churning data and burning glucose. Because of all this there is a lag in action. Why, because she is thinking. She is listing all pro and cons and assessing the gain vs loss report. Because she is a toddler, she’ll ultimately pick it up and eat it. But what about that lag?

Bear with me while I try to clear this idea further.

Adulthood

She is a woman now. Her head is at least as full of data-sets as a supercomputer. Her friends come with the offer to go cliff-jumping today. An excited butterfly flutters in her belly. That’s shock.

Out of the blue brain was presented with an image of someone jumping off a cliff and into the river. As the shock passes the CPU kicks in. That is Central Procrastinating Unit. This machine says, “Hold up, while I analyse the shit out of this idea.” It starts morphing the first image and does it better than any PicsArt kind of app will do in our lifetime.

As first possibility data set runs, it analyzes danger. The cliff is suddenly too high and slippery. What if she slips and falls even before she could jump and hits the rocks ass down. The blue silent eddy suddenly have river snakes at the bottom. That would be a No the CPU says.

The second data set runs and assesses the affordability. Let me see, you have to pay your phone bill and French class. That saves enough for groceries. The rest you are saving toward that dress you always wanted to buy. Maybe you really can’t afford it? That is a maybe.

The third data set runs and analyzes the society. All of them from her late bloomer brother, her cautious parents, snoopy relatives, the helpful Walmart clerk, the flirty pizza delivery boy, loser classmates and her cat maybe. The question presented to the computer is- “What will they think?” There goes a dozen eggs worth energy as each of them-who is not really there-pops up in the mental screen and gives away his two cents.

Brother- Right! Parents- Are you out of your mind? Relatives- She thinks she is better than everyone else. Walmart Clerk- There are risks, you know. Pizza Boy- Take me with you. Classmates- (Each one has different opinion and it’ll take time to write down all those.) Cat- Threatens to jump out the window and never come back.

That’s not all folks for the space is limited I only gave you what they said. I did not give you her answer to what they say as she tries to make them understand her point of view. BUT, everyone is implacable and won’t give in.

Tired and confused she tells her friends to go alone as she is out of money right now. Maybe she’ll just order the dress, she tells herself.

Her heart blossoms in the pink peach flower against a backdrop of white snow everywhere. That’s shock.

The CPU kicks in again.

Bottom Line

Ultimately what you do counts. What you do is what shows. It is what you and other people can measure. Most of our reality as we see is physical (Even if scientists say it’s tiny balls vibrating). So a stone will only roll downhill if you push it. Otherwise it’ll just sit there and make faces at you.

A bit of thinking on a subject is good. How about five minutes? No need to turn into a philosopher.

Thinking about doing your laundry? Do. Thinking about cleaning the room? Do. Thinking about taking a divorce? Do. Thinking about writing that book? Do. Thinking about binge watching Bloodlines? Do. Thinking about saving money? Do. Thinking about running? Do. Thinking about saying no? Do.

All I’m saying is live a life of quick decisions. It’ll help if what you decide upon includes doing something physical not mental. Like sewing that button, dusting the carpet, hitting the gym, sleeping under the stars and maybe touching yourself.

DO.