The Bestseller Dialogue

“Hello. Remember me? I’m JotterPad, and I’m full of your ‘shit’. You’re full of shit too, thank you very much.”

“Whoa. Did I hear that right?”

“You did. There are so many first chapters of so many books, you can’t scroll to the bottom without panting. Each one of them looks like your past girlfriends. Always in your head, and thin.”

“You know I’m only free when commuting? And not everyday you get a seat in the tube. How am I supposed to write while I am also trying to balance myself, unless I want go down head first across the coach when the conductor hits the breaks?”

“You can write instead of playing video games. Maybe even quit pulling the pirated shit out of Hollywood. “

“Maybe you’re right. I just don’t want that pretentious piss to get more trophies then me. And Game of Thrones, are you serious?”

“If it was that only.”

“How many first chapters, would you say?”

“I stopped counting after fifty.”

“At least I’m writing. I’m gonna write the second chapter of The Ward after I watch this new episode of the Outlander. I’ve the whole scene imagined, some awesome shit is going to happen to the Prince. Also I don’t like it when this keyboard automatically changes lower case prince to Prince. I’ve to go over the whole chapter fixing my prince and queens.”

“That is as good an excuse as any.”

“I’ll have no such talk from an app. To think I bought you just to worsen my anxiety.”

“If only I could write a whole story all by myself. You would just add your name and send it to the publisher.”

“Haha. Now that is an idea. An app that writes a novel all by itself. I’m gonna quickly write a first chapter about it.”

“Ugh.”