Things I don’t understand

I make a conscious effort to research facts and question opinions. However, the answers to some of life’s simpler occurrences continue to elude me.

  1. Why are people so offended at being asked their age? Age is simply a measure of how long your body has been on earth. That’s it. It defines you as a person in exactly no way. If you’re 50 years of age — congratulations! You've survived 50 years on a planet which also includes Saltwater Crocodiles and Great White Sharks, which are both fucking DINOSAURS. Forget about being cool and dignified before the age of 40 as well, all that fun starts in the latter stages of your life, once you’ve fucking earned it. Be proud, you’re still here fighting the good fight.
  2. Why are people so obsessed with the lives of others? Is it a self-conscious thing? Jealousy? Imagine you found out just now that you were going to die tonight. How did you spend your day? Do you think you’d regret spending 6 hours on people’s Facebook pages and turning your nose up at irrelevant shit like the clothes they’re wearing or the company they keep? Facebook serves many great purposes… Snooping isn’t one of them. If it’s not something you’d ask face-to-face, don’t try and find the answer on Facebook.
  3. Why do people get angry at things on social media? Idiots now have a platform, the dumb things they would say at home can now be displayed to everyone. Ignore it. It’s easy to delete people or hide them, Facebook is much more enjoyable once you've catered it to your needs (i.e. people you actually like and are interested in.) If they’re offended at you hiding or deleting them… Fuck ‘em. It’s FACEBOOK. It doesn't matter. If you’re allowing yourself to be offended by a dolt with a keyboard, you’re in for a very long and miserable ride.
  4. Why are people so worried about “cool?” Obviously when we’re kids, you want to be cool. Fine, that’s normal. But there comes a time where your brain develops enough to understand that aesthetic doesn't mean shit to your happiness. Why still act like a kid when you’re a twenty-something? That doesn't mean don’t have fun, having fun is the point… But you shouldn't need to dress or speak a certain way to “fit in.” You’re 30! Why are you still rocking the fade and varsity jacket at a club? I think this ties in with the second point, some level of insecurity.
  5. Why do some people act as if the last 10 years didn't happen once they’re in a relationship? We've all been guilty of this (once again, as kids) but it’s the adults who confuse me. We used to hang out, remember?! We’d drink beer, insult each other, maybe talk about some titties. Now you’re sitting there at a chain restaurant, barely speaking to your significant other and you can barely drag your eyes away from the table to say hello. Is that happiness?

These observations are merely that — observations. Devoid of subtext or malice. If you were offended by anything, you can rest assured that was not intended… But if you felt defensive at all then perhaps, on some level, you know you’re guilty to some degree of the point that made you sit up. These inane ramblings are based on exactly fuck-all knowledge of the science that could actually explain this behaviour so as always, a grain of salt…

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