Being Bisexual and A Women.

Seattle Pride 2016
“She’s just doing it for attention!”
“She’s actually gay but she doesn’t want to admit it.”
“Those people are greedy. Save some for the rest of us.”
“Make up your mind.”
“Damn. That’s hot. Threesome?”

The answer to all the above: No.

Bisexuality is an attraction to the same gender as well as other genders.

Now granted every bisexual individual can classify it in their own personal variations, but that’s the basic idea behind it all. That people who classify themselves under the bisexual umbrella: bisexual, pansexual, demi-sexual, queer, etc., are attracted to people of more than one gender.

But back to the original arguments.

“She’s just doing it for attention.”

Trust me, if I wanted your attention I would just set myself on fire, it would be a hell of a lot less painful that feeling like a freak/outcast not only in the straight community, but even more from the lg*cough*-B-tq community. You feel like you never fit in anywhere. If your with your straight friends, you’re too gay, if you’re with you’re gay friends-you’re too straight. Do you know how awful that feels? To feel like something inside of you is broken?

Think back to a moment in your past. Even if it’s a short one. I’m sure its there. And I’m sure you feel that uncomfortable gnawing feeling in your chest just thinking about it. You know why? Because no one likes feeling like they are the only broken toy in a field full of shiny new sports cars.

“She’s actually gay but doesn’t want to admit it.”

Just because some gays use bisexuality as a stepping stone to coming out does NOT mean bisexual’s are not real, or valid. THEY ARE. And even if the individual in question is actually gay, who cares? It’s their life, and if they feel they aren’t sure yet and need a little more time to figure it out, or if they do know and they are just afraid, just support them, and love them. Who cares what’s going on downstairs as long as they are happy with that person? Stop pushing. It’s their life not yours.

“Those people are greedy. Save some for the rest of us.”

With the exception of poly-sexuals, people in the bisexual umbrella only date one person at a time. Meaning no one is being taken up by said person. A gay/straight individual dates exactly the same amount. I’m not greedy for liking more than one gender, just like you’re not greedy for liking more than one kind of ice cream. We’re talking about love here, not money. The more love in this world the better.

“Make up you’re mind.”

This statement is wrong in so many ways. First, you’re implying that sexuality is a choice. Which -at least in the gay community and I believe a wide margin of heterosexuals as well- we have already determined (scientifically and otherwise) that it is in fact, not a choice. But that you were born that way. So why is it that people think bisexuality is any different? It isn’t! I don’t have any control over who I fall in love with, just as much as the next guy/girl. I repeat; BISEXUALITY IS NOT A CHOICE.

Repeat that in your head ten times.

Done? Good.

Moving on.

“Damn. That’s hot. Threesome?”


Look. I’m not saying that some bisexual’s don’t enjoy threesomes. But many gay/straight people enjoy them just as much. There isn’t anything wrong with liking threesomes. But that also doesn’t mean every bisexual wants one. You wouldn’t go up to a straight girl and assume she wants a threesome, so don’t do that with a bisexual one either. We’re still human. Don’t over-sexualize us just because you’re a horny {insert your choice of word here}. I am not here to please you. Or to get you hot and bothered. I’m here to live my life, travel the world, fall in love, maybe publish a few novels, and eat an unhealthy amount of cookies, while still trying to look hot-as-fuck (for myself, not you, I like feeling good dammit, give it a rest already).

Also me. See. I’m cute. -and single. *coughs* uh..moving on.

Most importantly; if a person identifies themselves as bisexual. They are bisexual. End of story.

-if she starts dating a boy (or visa versa)?

Still bisexual. They are in a queer relationship. Not a straight one. One of them is not straight. Doesn’t matter if they are opposite genders.

-If she starts dating a girl(or boy starts dating boy)?

Still bisexual. They are NOT in a gay/lesbian relationship, they are in a same-sex/queer relationship. Doesn’t matter if they are the same gender.

-If they date someone who is trans or gender-queer.

If they identify as bisexual they are bisexual dammit. It doesn’t just apply to male & female, it can apply to all genders depending on the person and how they define their sexuality.

To me, a trans male is a male, and a trans female is a female. I don’t see gender as biological. I’m attracted to all the downstairs parts, doesn’t matter what’s in their pants as long as they are someone I am attracted to.

And because of that, I am also attracted to gender-queer people (people who fall in between male & female). If a person has nice eyes, good hair, nice style (clothing wise), and we just have that spark, yeah, I’m probably gonna take them out for coffee or have a paintball gun fight, who knows, the point is, I’m still human.

I-just like you-am not attracted to just anyone and everyone. I have a specific type..just like you do (and don’t pretend like you don’t), a lot of things have to line up in order for me to want to date someone. Initial attraction, personality, passion-(not like that, get your head out of the gutter)-ate about something, career, traveling, food, hobbies, life in general.

So no I do not just want to make-out with anyone I see in the street, or the coffee shop, or anywhere else in the world.

So please, keep an open mind. We’re all searching to find somewhere we feel we belong.

Thank you for reading, my name is Gabrielle Jordan. Stay alive. It’s worth it. Also, if I have offended anyone in the Bisexual community with anything in this post, I apologize, I can only write from my own personal views. This post was not meant to offend you, and I sincerely apologize. Let me know how I can better represent your thoughts in the comments below. Thank you.

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