Love doesn’t come a with certainty or a promise to a destination.
Here’s a start in the right direction
Society has allowed us to widen the gap for the ones with uncertain and/or nefarious intentions. You have your own personal life, but just because one person is devoted or sure about where they stand doesn’t mean you’re allowed to take advantage of it. The goal is to be with each other and anything that doesn’t serve towards that purpose or that can harm that outcome is dishonest.
Sex has replaced Love. We are free to do what we want with our bodies, just remember one day you are hoping to have the privilege to be someone's mother, father, wife or husband. Some say it isn't fair to judge them and I agree. Quit living double lives. It's not against the law to be a hoe, to be gay, to watch Grey’s Anatomy if you're a dude and so on. But, own up to it and don't try to turn it around on a person if they expose you. You created that situation. Deal with it. It’s not fair to put someone in that position.
Why should another be put in a position to hold information against another. Especially with what they weren’t told initially without consent. They may have a hard time accepting that who they thought they knew, now must forget and build a whole new profile based off misleading information. For all they know, it’s partly a lie too. If it shouldn’t matter than it wouldn’t have been hidden initially. You created the doubt. Not them. You should accept people for who they are, but you can’t expect another to be 100% understanding of a person they were led to believe doesn’t actually exist. Which was done by taking advantage of their trust.
True intention should always be what guides a relationship.
If you truly love someone, or just have compassion for humans in general, there is really no excuse for deceiving others. Be who you are or don’t be in their lives.
Love doesn’t come with a certainty or a promise to a destination. It shows up in the moments of complete vulnerability.
People have a hard time distinguishing what they are with another person. I've heard dating, talking, serious, semi-serious, just f*ckin’, I don't know and the list goes on. To be honest there shouldn't be that many options. You're allowed to talk to whoever you'd like. If you're sleeping with multiple people, then you are no longer talking. The debate between “Dating” and in a “Relationship” can be be a matter of perception and intention. But, both or all parties involved should be informed in order to consent. Otherwise, you're lying.
Just because you do not admit something doesn't negate the fact that you aren't being honest.
Intentional deception...makes you a bad person.
Don't “Talk” to a loyal woman. Seriously. Give her the respect owed by showing true intention.
Don’t buy her time. If she allows you to, then she doesn’t know her own worth. Yet. She is allowing you to place a price on her. Setting the bar for her worth. It is not your job to show her either. Don’t save her. Stand by her. Show her that you are worth her time. Let her know how much you value your most important asset. Your time. So much to an extent that she sees you are willing to spend your time with her. Because that’s the most important asset to value. Your time. She then can learn to appreciate her own worth, as it can now be associated to something priceless. Your time.
Never allow a woman to go to sleep unappreciated. Your job is to comfort her at all times. Don't be a coward and let her suffer in your silence. That is a lonely place and it lets the mind wander. She has entrusted in your strength to reassure her that you are there. That you are going to be and that any time spent questioning it will only be energy spent worrying about irrelevancies. You allowed her to let that burden go. Because you told her she could. Irrational thoughts arise out of fear and uncertainty. Keep her mind at ease and do what you say. Protect what is yours. At all costs.
When too many “What If’s” become part of the relationship, distance is created. These are a result from expectations forming. Expect the worst and hope for the best? Maybe. But, what I can tell you is that you should expect failure if you have expectations to be met.
Do not let the communication barrier to be built.
Communication is the first thing to go. All relationships have a time where it stopped. There was a silence that was heard, yet ignored. Usually both parties are waiting on the other to provide a comforting solution. Men, swallow your pride immediately and fix it. It is both person’s responsibility, but this is your time to step up and save the relationship. Because you know better. Because before too long there’s not going to be anybody there to talk to. By then it will be too late to fight to have your voice heard.
Before you met her, she was a beautiful piece of art.
It is God’s greatest and most beautiful creation. The Woman and her Mind.
Art that may have been damaged or have imperfections from the past. It's not your job to fight her fights from the past, to be angry at what another did. You can't fix all her problems. You can try repairing the damages, but she really just needs to find comfort when you notice how many cracks and imperfections there actually are. Because when you do, she will be looking for your reaction. How accepting you will be.
This occurs during the initial phase of the relationship. She finds comfort in knowing that you are willing to try. Recognizing and knowing that you fear you may fail yourself by failing her. But, and when she senses the vulnerability, she won't see fear in a man. But, a man risking his own vulnerability to give comfort to the one he believes deserves it. Know now that you will fail. Multiple times. If you're smart you'll see it as intuition speaking to you to prepare yourself for if or when you do. At the very least you'll learn to not make the mistake in the first place.
The void filled and security felt can make the world seem less chaotic for the time being. Allowing her to let her guard down and enjoy life more. Allowing her to be a woman and find her purpose in this world. Be there when she needs you. Don't make room for excuses simply because you couldn't or wouldn't invest the effort or time into turning her doubts, fears, discomforts into simple worries. Ultimately making them just a thing of the past.
Her job as a woman is to support you and alleviate you of the distracting issues of the everyday life. This is so that you can hit the ground running every morning allowing you to be a Man. To give you the confidence to take on the world.
You must first, as the man, build a good foundation for you two to stand on for the rest of your lives. If that is your intention. This is your job as the man. Prepare yourself from the beginning. Accept that it is just you in charge of laying this foundation. It is your responsibility to figure what works for both of you.
If anything I say here is true today is this...
Never in my life was I put in so many positions, succeeded and was convinced, not by me, but by the support and love from a woman, that I could. The most successful I was at times in my life is when I had a woman by my side.
Women have a unique gift take anything they are given and make it better. Embryo to a baby. Boy to man. A man to a success. A couple into a team. Most astounding of all is to take love and make it unconditional. That there itself makes it no surprise that they can turn a house into a happy home.
Now when it is just her legs holding you both up as support, even when they are weak, what gives her the confidence, that even if she falls it is the faith in the foundation you built that is going to keep you two from crumbling.
Most all success is built on reliance, determination and will. But, that all is built on a steady and reliable support system that has complete faith in what it is standing on. Once again, a well-built foundation, one that can hold them without fear of falling.
Remember that a team is only as strong as your weakest link.
One or the other has to have the comfort of knowing that their worries are just that. Worries. That also shows little faith in one another. They cannot grow themselves. It takes one of you for nourishment to grow. Do not feed into the worries.
Once the foundation is laid, her time has come. The time to build a support system to hold that entire house up. This is a huge responsibility. Of which two people should share. But, it won't be. She must know this from the beginning and you have to have the faith in her to handle the task. She must know that you do.
One side can not be stronger than the other. If one side falls, you don't go digging and build up the other side. You reinforce the side that is weak immediately and accordingly. One day the other side may start to lean and if not for the repair and genuine concern for the unit's well-being as a whole, the support system will be filled with fear and doubt.
Do not be afraid to expose a weakness in your system. Understanding how to repair it is by not judging it. Acknowledge that it exists, a mistake may have been made, and the process of fixing it is also a learning experience. If not the entire system collapses.
The hardest part for a woman to do is having to forgive herself again, for failing you and your potential because if we never get to see the end result, it is the support system that didn't succeed. The foundation doesn't get blamed. This is unfair. But, is why the woman receives the recognition after so long of keeping it all together.
The foundation has no directions of how and where to start, but it has a simple blueprint. Designed with focus on responsibility, accountability, trust, and attention to detail.
The support system is a slow process that has thousands of nails, beams, studs etc., that have to go into place one by one over time to complete its objective of holding all you've built and worked for up. To protect you from the storms that are surely to come. This is built with communication, honesty, interest, patience, understanding and dedication.
If you weathered the storms, you will know you are finished and built a safe roof to protect and secure you throughout the years. All from the ground up. With strong support. All under one roof.
Two are as One. A team that builds to support and rely on each other for eternity.
Remember, that we are a soul with a body not a body with a soul.