…outside of violence and patriarchy is essential to the happiness and lives of trans-masculine folk. The masculinity I have (re)imagined for myself and always endeavour to live out is a masculinity that is soft, that is caring, that is open, that is loving, that is patient, that is kind, that is accepting, and that will wear nail polish and give zero fucks.
ts re…bad guys” (i.e., people using their “free speech” to protest transphobic remarks), when in reality, all of us are doing the exact same thing: Making personal choices and pronouncements regarding what we are willing (or unwilling) to tolerate, in an attempt to slightly nudge the world in our preferred direction.
Calls for “more speech” also suffer from the misconception that we, as a society, are all in the midst of some grand rational debate, and that marginalized people simply need to properly plea our case for acceptance, and once we do, reason-minded people everywhere will eventually come around. This notion is utterly ludicrous. Prejudice and discrimination are not driven by rationality or rea…
A great model I’m asking the reader to adopt is that of the "spinach in my teeth" metaphor put forward by Jay Smooth. If someone points out that a behavior is racist, bigoted or transphobic, you can think of it as someone pointing out you have spinach in your teeth. Rather than angrily fighting back, thank that person for their input, and go check in a mirror. You might actually have some dark green on your pearly whites. And, rather than feel ashamed, simply remove the spinach, and get back to the social occasion.