On Authenticity

Parker Brookwood
Jul 10, 2017 · 2 min read

Here’s the thing about authenticity. Everyone expects it and wants it from you but it’s rarely reciprocated. I used to get pissed off about this. Then I realized that there are many reasons people can’t go there.

It may be that they just cannot vocalize how they feel. Or they are not ready. Or they just don’t know where they are in that moment. Maybe their most authentic self is saying nothing for fear they will say the wrong thing or say the right thing in the wrong way or in a moment where it won’t be welcomed. Hell, maybe they are simply afraid that they cannot reciprocate the same feelings.

I’m learning to be accepting and forgiving of people who aren’t capable of reciprocating — at least not in the way I’d like them to reciprocate. We are all broken. We are all afraid. We’ve all been hurt and disappointed.

So I choose to love these people in the moments they allow me. The moments they let me in. Because we all need that. To feel loved. To feel like we belong. To feel safe. It doesn’t mean it’s forever but we also never know when forever will end. So . . . there’s no sense wasting time. At least this has been my philosophy for a long time. It’s often left me hurt or “burned.” I’ve been told many times to shut down my heart — from friends, from lovers. Because being an emoter and an empath makes you vulnerable. People will use you because they know you are willing to give.

But . . . to shut that part of myself off . . . would be less than authentic to myself. I love hard. I feel hard. It’s who I am. It’s been 43 years, I don’t see that changing now. Because authenticity is as much about being you (read: being me) as it is about being honest and open with those you (read: I) care about.