Writing on the Wall

“Who am I?” I ask this question everyday when I wake up. It’s the first thought that crosses my mind each day. I imagine I’m not alone in asking myself this question. Millions of people wake up and have the same routine in the morning. I seem to have a more acute case of it, however.

My life has its ups and downs. I like to think it’s up most of the time, but I have my doubts. Given I’m writing this story standing at a bar with a whiskey in one hand and my phone in the other, I’m having a difficult time saying it’s up. Depends entirely on your perspective I suppose. My vote is this-up.

Anyway, back to the subject at hand. To answer the question of “Who am I?” one would have to examine my several different personalities. For instance, one is charming, another is vindictive, and the other is for lack of a better word, friendly. So, as you can see, I’m a well-rounded individual. Would you believe that I’m wanting a career in Elementary Education?

Your next question might be: “ How do you keep up with all these personalities?” Well, they just mingle with one another and do their best not to interact with each other. The charming and friendly personalities certainly trump the vindictive one (apologies for the political reference). What can I say? I’m a charming guy. I know it. Women certainly know it (arrogant, right?). The vindictive personality only comes out if you choose to fuck me over. Not a smart choice by any means. You will regret it as I tend to hold a grudge….

So there it is: the answer to my question every morning. I’m a charming, vindictive, yet very friendly bastard. Good to finally know where I stand!