Deep Blue Will Soon Be Seeing Red

By Will Manning

The cold war threatens to the chill the world yet again, with tension between the U.S. and Russia higher than at any time since the 1980s. Straight out of a headline from that era, chess legends Garry Kasparov and I.B.M.’s Deep Blue are making news yet again, but this time, as teammates working for the Congressional investigation into the Russian connections of Michael Flynn, Trump’s former Chief national security advisor.

Garry Kasparov, who has been an outspoken critic of the Putin Administration for decades, was the first person called when the I.B.M. researchers were tasked with reviving and installing the essence of Joseph McCarthy into Deep Blues algorithms. “Ultimately our plan is to revive McCarthyism in its most maligned form, and put it in the hands of an unpredictable artificial Intelligence, and see what secrets it can shake loose.” Says the team lead from the Justice Department. “We need more of that old school anti-communist paranoia right about now.” The updated version of the A.I. is planned to be renamed Deep Red.

In a press briefing, I.B.M.’s spokesperson stated “This project needed an expert on Russia, the russian language, K.G.B history, the Russian Zeitgeist, and Deep Blue itself. We couldn’t have gotten off the ground if it weren't for Garry.” In that same briefing, Kasparov added, “We’re trying to use an element of fear. Russian operatives and their allies know that U.S. personnel have immutable laws that restrict their actions. An unpredictable paranoid robot is a real game changer!“

The Disney corporation was contacted about the rights usage for Maximilian from “the Black Hole” for Deep Red.. ya know, just to complete the whole, retro vibe this story has going on. Disney lawyers have not yet responded to the request…. Damn.

The RNC is planning to launch its own investigation into the congressional ethics committee's ties to Russia.