When Do You Pay A Pastor For A Wedding?

You have been waiting for this moment your entire life. Everything has to be perfect. And there’s a lot of pressure on everyone to get it right. But what about the pastor performing the wedding ceremony?

In this article we are going to talk about what to expect from your pastor during a wedding, if you should pay them, and how much your pastor’s time is worth when it comes to a wedding.

Now, let me start off by saying that the majority of pastors that I know, do not charge a specific amount to perform services such as weddings, funerals, and baby dedications. We love being able to walk with people through some of the most defining moments of their life.

And while most pastors will not have a set fee for these services, their contribution is highly valuable to the success of your wedding. It is my belief that just like you would pay a good photographer or caterer, you should do the same for your pastor.

But what does a pastor even do during a wedding that requires enough work to justify payment?

What Does A Pastor Even Do During A Wedding?

A pastor is legally allowed to officiate a wedding ceremony.

In the United States, only ministers and a justice of the peace (judge) can perform wedding ceremonies….for the most part.

Each state is unique in their requirements, and states like Wyoming allow anyone to perform a wedding. But for the most part, you have to be a minister or court judge.

A pastor performs premarital counseling.

Premarital counseling is a vital part of marital preparation. 80% of couples who go through some sort of premarital counseling stay committed to one another.

Most pastors take these counseling session very seriously. There is a lot of preparation and time involved for the pastor. Weeks, and even months before the actual wedding day comes around.

A pastor oversees the use of the church for the service.

Especially in a small church. The pastor is most likely responsible for letting people in to decorate for the wedding, as well as clean up and setting up the sanctuary after the service.

A pastor spends hours crafting the wedding ceremony with the couple.

A wedding is one of the most important events in our life. Your pastor will want to make sure that it goes exactly how you want it. Talking about what you want in your ceremony: special speeches or songs, communion, symbolic gestures, etc. are all things the pastor will help you plan beforehand.

A pastor officiates the actual wedding service.

There is a lot of pressure officiating a wedding ceremony. The bigger the wedding, the more pressure there is. We’ve all seen the videos where the pastor says something awkward, gets the names wrong, and even fainted during the wedding.

During the actual wedding ceremony, it is up to the pastor to make sure everything happens according to plan so the couple can enjoy their special day.

A pastor ensures the wedding is legally binding.

The pastor’s duties are not over after the ceremony. It is the job of the pastor to ensure that all of the necessary legal paperwork is properly signed and submitted to the appropriate state or county office. This typically includes meeting with the wedding party after the ceremony to sign the official documents and making a trip the next day to the county courthouse.

(You definitely don’t want to come back from your honeymoon to find that the pastor forgot to submit the paperwork and you aren’t legally married yet!)

A pastor is available for future marital counseling when issues and conflict arise.

Problems will arise in any marriage. And your pastors role is to help you navigate those difficult moments spiritually by listening, encouraging, and praying for you and your spouse.

As you can see, the pastor has a lot of responsibility during a wedding! So how much does all of this work cost?

How Much Should You Pay A Pastor For A Wedding?

While most pastors do not request an honorarium or payment to perform a wedding, it is standard practice to give them something.

But how much money should you give a pastor for performing a wedding? And when should you pay them?

There are many different numbers and figures you can find on the internet about how much to pay a minister to officiate a wedding, and it can be hard to figure out which one is right. On the one hand, you have a set budget for the wedding, and want to be mindful of that. On the other hand, you don’t want to seem insulting by not valuing the time and energy the pastor put into your big day.

So, my advice on the average honorarium you should pay to a pastor who is performing your wedding is between $500-$1,500 depending on how much preparation and work is involved.

Now, like I said at the beginning of this video, every situation is different. When do you know to give $500 verses $1,500? And does every wedding fall into this price range? What if you have a small budget? An elopement, or you are simply wanting a no-fuss wedding?

That’s where the Suggested Wedding Honorarium Chart comes in. This chart covers how much you should plan on paying a pastor give for performing a weddings ceremony. You can find the cart below. Let me know in the comments whether or not this chart was helpful. (Note: this chart is a guideline , not a price guide. Every situation is different and should be taken into consideration).

Now, we’ve talked about what a pastor does during a wedding and about how much you should pay them, but…

When Should You Actually Pay The Pastor?

Typically, whenever I first meet with a couple about doing a wedding, the topic of price comes up. I share with them my spiel about how I don’t have a set cost, but it does take a lot of work and sacrifice on my part to officiate. I share with them the Suggested Honorarium Chart and have them decide the cost.

After that conversation, I typically get asked, “Should we pay you now, or later?”.

My suggestion is always “later”, and here’s why. As your pastor for the wedding, I haven’t done anything yet. You haven’t been able to decide if my marriage counseling is beneficial to you or not. We haven’t talked yet about all of the things you want in your wedding ceremony, and we haven’t performed the ceremony yet.

Everything I do as a pastor during this wedding could be a complete flop, or dramatically exceed your expectations. So waiting until after gives you as the couple the ability to decide within that average honorarium range where the pastor should fall.

So there you have it. Pastors do a ton of work before a wedding ceremony, during the ceremony, and after the ceremony. The average honorarium for a wedding should between $500-$1,500 depending on your budget and how much preparation and work was involved. And you should wait until after the funeral to pay the pastor.

I hope this article helped answer your question of when and how much to pay a pastor for a wedding. And I hope you are able to appropriately value and honor your pastor as they journey with you during the most exciting time of your life.

And if you know someone who you think would benefit from this article, I would love it if you would share it with them.

Until next time, use everyday to keep learning and continue growing. God bless, Pastor out.