24/12/14, 17:29

Today I feel completely at ease with my appearance and personality.

Which isn’t always the case. I’m ashamed to admit that sometimes I think I look rather unattractive to the extent that it prevents me from going out. Maybe its the spirit of Christmas Eve that bestows a sense of contentedness (pretty sure that’s not a thing), but I feel me. Like a good version of myself.

Yesterday, instead of doing work, I decided to try to get myself an internship at AWARE. In order to get in however, I had to write an essay in response to the question, “Do you think gender equality has been achieved in Singapore?” It is a silly question because anyone who thinks that the answer is YES probably wouldn’t have much to contribute at AWARE, the organisation that *is* advocating for greater female rights in Singapore. Anyway, here’s my essay, because if I don’t get chosen (I mean I don’t even know if they are in need of an intern, its an “all year round” kinda deal), at least my day wasn’t wasted. ** Disclaimer ** I’ve chosen to answer that question in a personal manner, so even though there are bigger issues that need to be addressed, I did not mention them at length (also constrained by the 500 word limit).

Here it is:

Before coming to university, I have always been made to feel that my feminist stance was unfounded. My classmates, the Straits Times, friends, and even “adults” (sometimes even General Paper teachers) will cite rising education opportunities, greater political presence and more dual-income parents as evidence of gender equality in Singapore. They seem to earnestly believe that the phenomenon will only progress in a linear direction, with the goal of gender equality clear in sight and attainable. However these statistics, while legitimised by government authorities, feel incongruent to my experiences as a girl / woman (even at 20 I’m uncomfortable with either term).

The problem I think, is that sometimes good citizens with kind intentions may unintentionally perpetuate the status quo when the status quo needs to be dissected, examined and vigorously contested. Protected by the veil of progress through convoluted statistics and reinforced by personal experiences of mostly middle-class upbringing, efforts to start a dialogue on continuous gender discrimination in Singapore will be seen as unnecessarily provocative.

For example, having men stare at me (my body, my face) at public transports, the streets, feeling a lack of ownership over my own sexuality, and being cat-called at, seem to be minor nuisances, — even “First World Problems” — compared to prominent issues like human trafficking, stoning, deprivation of education, etc prevalent in developing countries. However this is an oppression of females that continues to thrive precisely because of its insidious nature that allows us to normalise it, or shrug it off. And that’s not alright. I want to be able to make raucous, dirty jokes without acting apologetic about it, or be labelled as the “cool girl” just because I speak candidly and am fiercely independent. I wish that the act of cutting hair — done so casually by males — wouldn’t carry such heavy connotations that assume my sexuality, hurt my dating prospects, and have my entire personality be essentialised by my short hair.

These stereotypes associated with femininity and masculinity have been taught by our elders, reinforced by our society and are eventually internalised by individuals. The pamphlet by “Focus on The Family Singapore”, wherein “girls” are still characterised as unreasonably emotional (claimed to inject “light-heartedness”) is one out of the many masked assumptions that a woman has to carry throughout her life, in regardless of her career and educational accolades. Importantly, these nuggets of conventional “wisdom” towards women become consequential when manifested as sources attributing to the glass ceiling, stigma against working mothers’ “neglect” / use of maids, divorced women, pre- matured sexuality in girls, to name a few.

In the “Great Gatsby”, Daisy wished this upon her infant daughter, “I hope she’ll be a fool — that’s the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool.” It saddens me that even in a modern society like Singapore, this lament of beauty and carefreeness triumphing intelligence and assertiveness is still implicitly endorsed and practiced.