Here’s one to conformism.

That day, a bunch of us gathered around the coffee machine near the office floor corner. The brewing sound of coffee broke the silence. “Now that it’s post-lunch, I must decide on either”, he said, “…either it’s the nap room or fixing bugs crawling all over the codebase. And I am doing the latter”. He sounded determined as he took a strong sip of that hot coffee. The others lined up with their cups. “Coffee is our savior”- they say. It saves them so much that they do not hesitate in having 5 full cups a single day as if its the elixir. (All the other beverages and fruits are usually on leave) :P
I watched silently. While recalling the last time I had coffee, I asked with a tinge of innocence — “Does this potion really prevent you from sleeping?” Another teammate jumped in the conversation quickly. “Of course, it does! I love coffee and cannot even start my day without it. How can you miss such a beauty?” Drinking coffee now felt like a proud accomplishment for everyone in the room. The others nodded their heads approvingly. All smiled at me with their sparkling eyes. Oops! I smiled back as the ‘one’ without coffee in my hands.
This made me think through a myriad of possibilities about a simple thing like coffee. Let me start with the appreciation of its beauty. Yes, the aroma, the taste is definitely one of a kind; each time you make it. It is a motivation for many to start their day! A perfect companion it is, when you are alone by the window, while it also acts as glue at the discussion table when enjoying time with people. It soon becomes an excuse to continue the meeting a bit longer — ‘because the coffee is still hot’ :)
And this is completely valid. We are living a life, why not relish all of its flavors and try all the things? It’s worth an experience tasting different types of coffee and engaging in the debates on which one tastes best. Some have their recommendations ready since their doctors told it to be an awesome idea having coffee ‘x’ times a day. Okay wait, I got a carried away from what I want to state here.
Coming back to the point. Some might wonder what in the world is going on around coffee, but it will be treated as a placeholder soon. First of all, this is not about coffee, literally. To clarify, we can try a little experiment. Bring home some artwork and show it to each one of your family members individually. We find that no two people have an identical opinion! The probability of people differing in their views starts rising right from our family. After applying the same analogy, do we still think coffee is an internationally acclaimed beverage and that most ‘like’ it? The reasoning behind this illusion is simple. It’s conformism.
No, it's not a fancy word for show off. It’s exactly what we have been practicing almost in every walk of our life. True indeed, is the fact that each person is unique and comes with his own set of choices. He has the right to decide what’s best for him. However, does it really work for him? When it comes to a group, the very dynamics of how people think starts changing. Look if this really makes sense — ‘my friend X says he likes coffee, why not say I like it too? What if everyone says yes and I deny it? I might come across as a weirdo...hmm’. Sounds familiar? This was our subconscious mind speaking. We all have been here. This is ‘normative conformism' — a term that defines us desperately trying to fit into the crowd. When we began, it was one cup of coffee a day. Fair enough! Addiction slowly creeps in and with time, it's gone up to 6 cups.
But now there’s no going back as we have already accepted our liking to be the absolute universal truth, before ourselves and the rest. We have already begun to unknowingly advocate how good coffee is for health and how it benefits us in all eternal ways. And beware of the very nature of marketing! It makes others think you are a fool the moment you stop consuming it. After all, no one will make us change the easily picked up attitudes in our life, it’s solely our responsibility. There are tons of negative views shouting the truth with all facts and glory about the very same coffee we are bragging about, about how the market is captured by it and about how insanely the crowd is emptying the cups! But a blind eye is now cast. Everything that comes in between the love for coffee and us will be banished and every non-conformist will be thought of as a rebel who tries to act differently for attention. We do yell back at him saying — “the entire world is drinking it, who are you to come up with new theories?” Poor thing… One who was just trying to wake you up is now outcast from the group :/
It’s time to replace the variable coffee with all sorts of things we do without thinking whether they are really meant for us. Or are we simply ‘conforming’ to the standards set around us? For some people, certain things really attract. Those things in return treat them well.
So, let them pursue their love. But for us, it’s time to reassess. Time to ensure we are not lying to ourselves for the fear of societal judgments. Doesn’t matter if our social media post doesn’t ‘conform’ to what others “want to see’’. Trust me, we will end up having far better experiences that a ‘seemingly rebellious’ one is already having. For one thing, surely non-conformism here is not about rebellion. It’s only about gaining independence from the shackles of media, advertisements, peer pressure and about what the society has to think of you. And also because you deserve your ‘personal favorite beverage’ — not the one that everybody is selling in your face.
With a pause, I breathed deeply. My friend standing in front was waving hard for me to come out of the loop when I was heading back to my desk. I looked at him. There he was, standing with his hot cup of coffee! I believe he genuinely likes it though. Cheers!
