This sounds like letting the guys off easy, but I understand. I’ve been at that crossroads and have discovered that the men don’t merit a single second of my attention, even if it is to kick them where it hurts. It’ll never hurt equally or be a satisfying enough punishment.
But in putting my attention and heart into helping myself, then other women cope with there “after” life, sometimes working together we can make a meaningful difference that will mold their lives in a way going forward. Help them feel stronger, to get free if it’s an abuser they’re in a relationship with.
Whether it’s a stranger or a relative or something altogether different, the act of having your power stolen from you is excruciating, shocking and something that strips you of pre-conceived notions about your ability to be strong, get safe, fight back, be a warrior or a worrier or weapon. It’s shocking to find out how quickly and completely your “you” is damaged.
But once you know, you know the real starting place for the work to reclaim yourself. Before, you assumed based on… what? Your aggression as a kid? Your physical strength or emotional togetherness? You don’t ever know, until you do.
And that’s the place to start from.
Just my two cents. Thanks for writing this Emma.