Fake it until you make it

or why my writing is going to be crap for a while.

Photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash

So, my write everyday effort fell flat on its face yesterday. I had an “I just can’t” day. Which didn’t stop me from writing a whining, multi-part text message to my best friend about why I couldn’t. So I guess I did get some creative writing in for the day.

She told me what I was feeling was common when a person is overwhelmed.

Eh? Really? No, I’m the take life as it comes, relax and things will work out, the universe is looking out for use, abundance believer, “everyone does the best they can with what they’ve got” person.

I’m not overwhelmed. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Nope.

I’m usually an even-keeled personality. Not much rocks my boat in a storm.

Except when it does. And the storm is largely self-inflicted.

Like now when I feel like I have rats running circles in my brain.

I have the I’m Overwhelmed rat.

The I’m Not Good Enough rat, commonly known as the Imposter Syndrome rat.

The I Have Too Much Responsibility rat.

The Stress rat.

The Sleepless Nights rat.

The I’m My Dying Brother’s Caretake rat.

The I Hate My Job rat.

The I Feel Fat rat.

The Suck It Up Buttercup rat,

The I’m Eating Like Shit rat and,

The newest one, My God A Blog Is A Lot Of Work rat

and the ever popular, I Want to Chuck Everything and Run rat.

oh, yeah, and there’s the Whiney Girl rat. That’s the biggest one and has a pink polka dot bow on its head.

The Put On Your Big Girl Panties rat is also floating around too though its voice isn’t as loud as the others and can be completely shut up with a glass of wine.

I don’t know, maybe I need to up the dosage on my meds.

So, just so I can get words down every day, there might be some self-indulgent crap coming everyone’s way.

Just sayin’.