Wimbledon Shocker: Federer Admits He Doesn’t Know How to Play Tennis

London, England

Eight-time Wimbledon champion Roger Federer was denied another Wimbledon trophy on Wednesday when the 8th seeded player Kevin Anderson beat him in a dramatic four-hour match. It was an upsetting defeat for Federer, a player often-touted as the greatest of all time.

Federer was brutally honest when asked if he could explain the loss at a post-match press conference.

“I don’t know how to play tennis,” he said. “I’m just winging it out there. I guess that’s finally caught up with me.”

After a round of confused laughter in the pressroom, Federer was asked to clarify his comment.

“No one taught me the rules of tennis or the scoring or anything. I was going to sit down and read the rulebook before coming to Wimbledon this year, but I just never got around to it. I’ve been too busy swinging the net-stick at the yellow ball.”

When questioned on the term “net-stick,” the 20-time Grand Slam champion became visibly irritated.

“The net-stick,” he said. “You know — it goes PING! when you wack the yellow ball. Hello? Ring any bells?”

When asked if he planned to read the official rulebook before returning to Wimbledon next year, Federer shrugged and said,

“Prolly not.”