Chastity Q3

Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues: Week 12, Q2

Chastity: “Rarely use venery but for health or offspring. Never to dullness, weakness or the injury of your own or another’s peace or reputation.

Personal notes:

  • Everyone’s favorite week is back;
  • My wife’s talking about more kids;
  • Oh boy.

I hate writing about Chastity week. It’s inevitably a giant pain in the ass. What I think is funny and true my wife interprets as insulting and sad. Whenever I write, it hammers home how differently the two sexes view the world. Every guy I know jokes about sex and being married, it’s the way we’re wired. And I’m sure every wife get’s mad about it and takes it personally. So yeah, I hate writing about this week: what to share, what not. Can’t keep it light because then it’s insulting. Can’t keep it honest because then it’s revealing.

But let’s be honest, sex is a totally different ball game when you have kids. Yes, sex changes when you’re in a longterm relationship, but when you have kids, you see the biological result of having sex — offspring — and sometimes offspring are miserable. We haven’t slept in a week because our daughter is sick, and they’re both always awake before dawn anyway. There’s also been a lot of crying and whining lately, especially on this cold Monday morning. It’s a terrible way to start the week and a terrible way to write a blog post.

I should qualify this post with the fact that I love my kids and family. They make me laugh, keep me grounded, give me a world of hugs and kisses. 99% of the time I wouldn’t know what to do without them, but shit, sometimes it’s miserable and it complicates the relationship with my wife, which is manifested in the most physical form through sex.

Sex is always complicated and messy with ups and downs and mistakes. When you have a family, a weird calculus evolves: you seem to have less sex but more complications. I love having a family. But I’d be lying if I said everything is always perfect. Most days, sex is the furthest thing from my mind and writing about it seems ridiculous.

Next Week

Ben Franklin’s 13 Virtues: Week 13, Q3

Humility: “Imitate Jesus and Socrates.

Personal notes:

  • Put yourself into the shoes of others;
  • Remember that we all falter.

There are a number of difficulties lying before us this week. Best to remain measured and humble. We all stumble one time or another, remember others do as well.

Originally published at on October 31, 2016.

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