Inside the World’s Biggest Group Chat

A Reporter At Large, Trapped in a Big Nothing.

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  • the guy who’s always dark, but stays up-to-the-minute with what everyone is saying
  • the guy who makes vaguely bigoted comments and veiled threats
  • the guy who nobody knows who he is, responds only in gifs
  • the self-published author
  • the guy who believes in hollow earth
  • the guy whose [insert family member] has just died
  • the guy who holds the chat hostage by refusing to abandon the Android platform
  • the guy who is bottom-of-the-totem-pole, the chat punching bag, the lightning rod of roasts
  • the dropper of dank/crispy memes, is involuntarily celibate
  • the fake catholic who posts low-res porn nobody asked for
  • the guy who volunteers at children’s hospitals, dimly related to the fake catholic
  • the stay-in-bed dad—terrible in the chat but pleasant/quiet in person
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An artist’s rendering of the initial transcript, from Elon’s point of view

Founder of a NY search ad agency (like we need another). Finding humor in marketing tech’s depravity. AdTech writing @ NY Times. patrickberlin08@gmail.com

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