I Can’t Adult At The Moment

I’m in that state of life wherein I’m not really going anywhere. I have been officially “adult-ing” (if that’s even a word) for more than fifteen years now but I still have not grasped the concept on how it is to be an adult these days.

Yeah sure I have bills in my name to pay, child support and that ever growing urge to finally move all my stuff out of my parents’ home is daunting. Society expects me to go get married, buy a house and a nice car by this time but I am nowhere near that place, YET. Yes, I’ve moved in with my girl of almost three years but I still have a few stuff that I left there especially my prized possessions. My books. Did I fail to mention more than a dozen pairs of sneakers as well?

I’ve read James Altucher’s views on minimalism and it had me contemplating if I should be renting a home instead of buying one, given the fact that mortgage rates are skyrocketing these days and real estate brokers would do everything they can to sweet talk you into parting with your hard-earned cash. My brother, on one of our chats over IM tells me that you can’t go wrong with real estate. But that’s just him and he’s living thousands of miles away in Chicago. Renting. Then it is expected of me to go buy a car and it had to be a practical one. Go buy a Toyota they said. It will be fun they said. Fuck you consumerism.

Right now all I could worry about are some credit card and phone bills, my son’s tuition, utility bills, insurance and oh, lunch money and fare. What’s left are mandatory deductions towards my emergency fund which still is a year away of being completed if ever I get to that mark. Could I even afford a house right now let alone a car? No. I’ve seen and heard too many horror stories about delayed payments from friends and I tell you that is something that worries me. I procrastinate too much.

When you look into my wardrobe it will just be a few pieces here and there that are almost always at least two years old. The rest are all my girl’s dresses occupying more than half of the space. I tell her that she buys too many clothes and shoes. All I get are snarls and an evil eye. Women. I still can’t understand them.

I’m a hoarder in denial. I’ve accumulated so much stuff over the years I can’t believe I still have those. Old college shirts. Chargers of my dead Nokia phones (yes I still have those). Receipts from that fancy restaurant where me and my girl had our first date. Movie tickets from 2013. I can’t even imagine I still keep those. James wrote about how he disposed of all the unnecessary stuff (even his diploma), opted not to rent a home anymore and went on to be a modern-day nomad of sorts. I was intrigued at how he was able to pull it off and still keep going.

I’m curious. Would renting instead of buying an actual home work for me? “Isn’t that like throwing money down the drain?” my girl asked. I really don’t know at this point. I’m still months away to having enough for an actual down payment for a house if and when I decide to buy one. Then there are these rent-to-own schemes that real estate brokers are promoting these days. I might look into that.

I’d like to know how it feels to have all your life’s belongings conveniently tucked into one or two backpacks. When you can just get up and go move somewhere without worrying about getting to call the movers and haul away all your stuff to your next place.

One time I’ve miraculously pulled off putting all my stuff in my old backpack on one of our memorable trips overseas. But then I am constantly paranoid that I might not have enough undies packed or if my shorts won’t hinder me to get into that nice restaurant we chanced upon that night.

I might have to start cleaning out my closet at least. Thank you James. I might have to figure this out for myself.