The Mornings After

I’m not really good with breakups. Most times I was the one being left behind which was in some ways, okay with me. I will be miserable for weeks and that’s it. I would have found someone else along the way.

This time I had to be the one who leaves. Years of being unhappy and pretending that things were just right had taken its toll on my tired soul. I hated the fact that I was hurting the person I thought I loved before. I felt like a monster. This was totally unacceptable. But then things had to change.

The mornings after will always be brutal. Everything will be dull and gray even though the same sun always shone on the same side of my room at almost the same time every time I wake up. My constant playlist will make me cry buckets.

Is it possible to be happy and sad at almost the same time? I think I’m having one of those episodes. Glad to be able to live again but hurting as I leave my old life behind me. I was bawling as I took out the last of my things out of our old apartment. My heart tugged as I locked the old door behind me for the last time.

To you. I want you to live again even without me. It will hurt most of the time but I know everything will go back the way it were. You’ll see. You just have to be patient. Don’t stop believing in love. Let your heart heal and your soul rest for a while. This is goodbye, for now.